CFS 425 1st Edition Lecture 6 Outline of Current Lecture Self-Discourse and The Journey of Sex Lecture online :- Self Discourse - Sex and intimacy These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.Self Discourse 1. The process of revealing personal information about oneself to someone else2. Is on of the defining hallmarks of intimacy 3. Taking a Risk- A relationship paradox In order to improve a relationship one must be willing to risk losing it. Communication Patterns 4 Styles of Miscommunication – There is an outside and inside element . Incongruity- between verbal and nonverbal communication is problematic. 1. Placators- Passive People who are always agreeable but act helpless- Service- I feel like nothing without you. I am worthless 2. Blamers-Its your fault- I don’t feel very powerful 3. Super reasonable- Computer always pretend to be reasonable and not reveal their feelingsbecause they find emotions threatening- I feel very vulnerable 4. Distractor- Reflects situations and taking attention from the conversation and putting it onthemselves. Avoid disclosing relevant feelings so they never discuss a problem but instead change the subject. Active Listening – two vital tasks1. Accurately Understanding- of what our partner s trying to say 2. Communicating that attention and comprehension- to our partners so that they know we care about what they’ve said. The Journey of SexHaving Sex with your Eyes open= IntimacyMale and female styles of intimacy- Culturally transmitted gender roles may be the largest factor in affecting style of intimacy Gender differences in Verbal communicationBiggest Sexual concerns in Relationships- Performance/consciousness/ measuring up - Interest- Expectations - Sex and gender - Physical concerns - BEING HURT Do the sexes view sex and love similarly?• Men rate romance on the quality of sex but do not think that love is necessary for sex.- Men are more likely to believe in “love at first sight,” and they want their loves to be passionate.- Women are more cautious and selective, and they feel passion more slowly.- Same Sex Love is very similar to heterosexual love. • Many women want to feel close emotionally before being sexual.• Many men assume that sex is the same as emotional closeness. • Men may be more inhibited from expressing intimacy, or maybe they just do it differentlythan women with through behavior.• Culturally transmitted gender roles may be the largest factor in affecting style of intimacy.• For women, life is intimacy – seeks closeness.• Women engage in “rapport talk” – talk is an end in itself.• Women’s speech is personal, concrete, and