CFS 425 1st Edition Lecture 4Outline of Current Lecture 1. Relationships Current Lecture- Midterm - Review of Horsemen - How We Look At Relationships.- Relationship patterns.- ‘Conditioning’, Feedback, and Change.- Boundaries.These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.Midterm Feb. 24 Review of Four horsemen of the Apocalypse- - Criticism- attacking passing judgment - Contempt- Defensiveness - Stonewalling Relationship - Couples rust out you don’t wake up one morning staying you don’t want it,it’s more over time.- These should be banned in relationships - Misconceptions That Limit Our Ability To Maintain Loveo Example-If it isn’t perfect, it wasn’t meant to be.o You can’t rekindle passion; once love dies, you can never get it back.1. Ways we look at relationships - How we think about and define our problems- Do we define it from a psychological individual problem - In relationships it should be a WE got a problem, not separate them Weight No member is more important than any other member. Its “equal weight” 1. Circular causality is an a and B are in dynamic interaction the idea that events are related thorough a series of interacting loops. We influence each other 2. Linear causality-a domino effect Relationship pattern - Influence each other - Formed an expectation- Relationships have patterns we expect something - Like long distance relationship Relationship Patterns1. Patterns become strongly ingrained habits of interactions that make change difficult 2. DISTANCERS’look as though they just want to be alone but they stay close to the purser. vs.Yet they pace themselves with the ‘ PURSUER ’ S ’ pursuit3. Over functioning 4. Dominant/ submissive 5. Fight and flight Velcro loop -when you feel threaten what do you do to feel safe?- How we react- How do we solve the issue?- DO we tend to runaway or confront the issue?Linear causality- “When your partner feels threatened, what do they do to make themselves feel safe?”- Example- What coping strategies have they developed to protect themselves from being hurt- Walking away- Fighting back- Belittling - Crying -