CFS 425 1st Edition Lecture 5 Outline of Current Lecture Relationship & CommunicationsWhat to Study: Topics we have discuss so far - Patterns - Ch. 9 “Communication & Relationship Management”PatternsHas become strongly ingrained “habits” of interactions that make change difficult.1. Pursuer-Distancer Pattern”2. Over/Under-functioning Pattern3. Dominant/Submissive Pattern4. Fight/Flight PatternSexuality is diverse, and deeply personal. Understanding our sexuality is about the sexualfeelings and attractions we feel towards other people, not about who we have sex with.- Feelings or attraction to other people- Sexual thoughts and feelings- Sexual preferencesHomophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or different sexual orientations. It can be expressed as contempt, prejudice or hatred, may be based on irrational fear, and is sometimes related to religious beliefs.Relationship Dynamics1. How We Look At Relationships.2. Relationship patterns.3. Conditioning Feedback, and Change.4. Boundaries.These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.5. Expectations.Relationship Patterns • Pursuer-Distancer• Over function - Under function• Dominant-Submissive• Fight-Flight• “Velcro Loop”• Birth order Birth order blues Who we are today has a lot to do with our experiences in the sibling subsystem.We learn about:• Loyalty• Fairness• Sharing• Interpersonal Relationships• Opposite sex Oldest Siblings • Overachieving.• Perfectionistic.ResponsibleMiddle Siblings • Thinks that parents did not give enough love.• Seeks approval.• May not feel “good enough• Feels compared to siblings.Youngest Siblings • Feels spoiled.• Sometimes spoiled.• Protected.Only Child • High achieving.• Feelings of being special.• Center of attention.How we Influence one another: 1.Conditioning 2.Feedback 3.Change Operant Conditioning = Behavior is modified by its consequences• Reinforcement: Increases the frequency of desirable behavior• Punishment: Decreases the frequency of undesirable behaviorGood Communication is Key to intimacy and couple interaction.Basic Communication Principle- You cannot not communicateThree Elements of Communication • Body Language • Words • Voice Tone Top five communication issues • Sharing feelings • What you want • Partner doesn’t understand how you feel • Comments that put the partner down • Refuses to discuss issues. Nonverbal Sensitivity- • Women work harder at nonverbal communication than men usually do.• They send clearer, more comprehensible messages, and they attentively interpret others’ behavior more accurately.• When partners communicate poorly, both of them make a lot of mistakes, but men usually make more of them.Nonverbal insensitivity is likely due to inattention and a lack of effort.• Men read others as well as women do when they are equally motivated to make good