CFS 425 1st Edition Lecture 10Outline of Current Lecture Relationships Stresses and strains Part 2 Lecture online:Relationship Stresses and Strains LiarsForgiveness Conflicts- Nature of conflictConflict styles •These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.- Liar’s nonverbal behavior gives him/her away.- Discrepancies and mismatches in the components of a liar’s nonverbal behavior arouse suspicion.Forgiveness occurs when we give up our perceived right to retaliate against, or hold in our debt, someone who has wronged us.- (a) the offender apologizes, and- (b) the victim is able to empathize with the offender - being able to imagine why the partner behaved as he or she did.- well-being - self-esteem, - Less hostility, and more satisfaction with life. Relationship conflictsNature of conflicts 1. Conflict is inevitable in relationships.2. What matters is how we deal with it.3. Conflict is a potential for growth OR arelationship crisis.Stressors:external events that cause an emotional or physical reactionStress:body’s reaction to demandDistress: unhealthy feelings or reaction to eventEustress: positive response to eventWhat do couples fight about?- Money- Loyalty- Power- Privacy - Children - Sex Positive aspect of conflict- Forces the examination of a problem.- Moves toward potential solutions.- Prevents hostilities from festering.- Increases understanding. - Says relationship is worth the effort.Conflict styles1. Competing:- Have to be winner.- Overpowering.- Forcing.- Intimidating.- High concern for self.- Low concern for other.2. Collaborating:- Mutual satisfaction.- Everyone’s goals are met.- Conflict is positive.- High on relationships and goals.3. Compromising:- Persuasion.- Sacrifice (“each have to give a little”)- Middle ground on relationships and goals.4. Avoidant:- Maintains peace - even though a hollow peace.- Nonassertive and passive behaviors characterize style.- May convey message:5. Accommodating:- Smooth it over.- Being liked is most important.- High on relationships. - Neglect of self; interest for partners.- May reduce creative options.Improving Communication “I-Statements”Describes personal thoughts, feelings, or experiences in first person singular.Advantages:Not threatening/Promote openness/Focus on problems rather than