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SU CFS 425 - Attraction and Intimacy
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Two factor of romantic love1. Physiological arousal that is paired with the2. Belief that another person is the cause of connected to your arousalAttraction as an attitude1. Thought2. Affect (emotion)3. BehaviorBasic principle of attractiona. WE like people who like usb. We like people who satisfy our needsMost people find it hard not to like those who like themBalance theory- suggest that we refer consistencyFundamental belief of attraction- a matter of RewardWe like those who reward us. Rewards such as being:Treat us wellare presenceShows appreciationPositive events occurAdmireSocial Exchange TheoryThe main idea behind social exchange is everyone tries to maximize the rewards/benefits they obtain from a relationship and try to minimize the costs.Cost –investment it becomes a bigger throughout the relationshipRewards (appreciation) what we pay more attention to in the beginningAs relationship develops the cost and benefits tends to shift a little.We are most attracted to those who see us as we want to be seen. Who allow us to be or become our best self.Sense of safetyLiking- What aids that1. Proximity2. Familiarity3. Similarity (homogamy)1.Proximity- those near to us. The closer they are the more likable they are . Small distances have a larger influence on our relationship than most.Proximity is rewarding distance is costly2.FamiliarityRepeated contactWith some usually increase our liking for him/herProximity increases familiarity and familiarity increases liking.3.SimilarityIt’s reassuring to encounter others who share our viewHomogamy- we share the same ideas perspective and personality.We tend to like those who share ourAgeReligionSocialAttitudesValuesPersonalitiesWhy do we use those that are homogamy to use? It is because we know what to expect and we are more comfortable with that.Sometimes we might try opposites because we don’t want someone to be similar to use. It makes it boringFilter theory- asserts that we sift eligible people according to specific criteria and this narrow the pool of other people.Major filtering mechanism is homogamy dating and marrying one with similar social characteristicsMatching hypothesis- more likely to seek for people who was most like ourselves. Due to the fear of rejection from more of a attractive personMatching is a broad process:People pair off with others of similar mate value but the specific assets they offer each other may be very different.CFS 425 1st Edition Lecture 1Outline of Current Lecture 1. Interpersonal Attraction”; “Psychological Attraction”Current Lecture- The difference between desirable vs. a little less so attracted?- What is attraction?What makes us attracted to a certain kind of person?Imprinting- Evolution genetics Even smells as well as psychological experiences can trigger a romantic reaction to another person Love map Concept- A group of messages encoded in our brains that describe our likes and dislikes. A memory map of behavior. Think of Internal schema/ mental template. There created at an early in our lives (around the age of 3, 4 and 5 years old. By the age of 8 we know our ideal mate.Examples: Things that come to mind Different Touch texturesVisual pleasing to the eyes What is Scary to us?Love predictors- what we think of about our ideal mates Arousal theory- Misattribution of Arousal Occurs when arousal caused by one-event fuels stronger emotional reactions to a second, unrelated event. Just have to be in the proximity of it for it to happen Examples -Arousal and attractionStinky t-shirt Bridge experience Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder and Arousal enhances attraction and sustains love 2.Measuring up to their mother 3.Discovering someone like you These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute. Two factor of romantic love  1. Physiological arousal that is paired with the  2. Belief that another person is the cause of connected to your arousal  Attraction as an attitude1. Thought 2. Affect (emotion)3. Behavior Basic principle of attraction a. WE like people who like us b. We like people who satisfy our needs Most people find it hard not to like those who like them  Balance theory- suggest that we refer consistency Fundamental belief of attraction- a matter of Reward We like those who reward us. Rewards such as being:- Treat us well - are presence - Shows appreciation- Positive events occur- Admire Social Exchange Theory The main idea behind social exchange is everyone tries to maximize the rewards/benefits they obtain from a relationship and try to minimize the costs. Cost –investment it becomes a bigger throughout the relationship Rewards (appreciation) what we pay more attention to in the beginning As relationship develops the cost and benefits tends to shift a little.  We are most attracted to those who see us as we want to be seen. Who allow us to be or become our best self.  Sense of safety  Liking- What aids that1. Proximity 2. Familiarity 3. Similarity (homogamy)  1.Proximity- those near to us. The closer they are the more likable they are . Small distances have a larger influence on our relationship than most.  Proximity is rewarding distance is costly  2.Familiarity Repeated contact With some usually increase our liking for him/herProximity increases familiarity and familiarity increases liking. 3.SimilarityIt’s reassuring to encounter others who share our viewHomogamy- we share the same ideas perspective and personality. We tend to like those who share ourAge ReligionSocialAttitudesValuesPersonalities - Why do we use those that are homogamy to use? It is because we know what to expect and we are more comfortable with that. - Sometimes we might try opposites because we don’t want someone to be similar to use. It makes it boring Filter theory- asserts that we sift eligible people according to specific criteria and this narrow the pool of other people. Major filtering mechanism is homogamy dating and marrying one with similar social characteristics Matching hypothesis- more likely to seek for people who was most like ourselves. Due to the fear of rejection from more of a attractive person Matching is a broad process: People pair off with others of similar mate value but the specific assets they offer each other maybe very


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SU CFS 425 - Attraction and Intimacy

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