CMS 357 1st Edition Lecture 10I. Parenthood as a CrisisA. What happens to a couple when they have a baby ("Transition to parenthood" in index)marital satisfaction starts out high in the early years of marriage, goes down some, then levels out and goes back up after 20 years of marriage (prob bc having kids)B. We measure stress by life changes (having a baby is a big change, so it is associated with stress) There is a reason to translate having a baby and transitioning to parenthood asa crisis, but its not a crisis for everybody, and how it plays out varies person to person. We have this generalization, but if we look at the research today that generalization is way too simplistic)II. Problems with Previous ResearchA. Parents include those who "accidentally" got pregnant (research just compares coupleswho are parents to couples who are not parents and says look couples who are parents aremore stressed out) Problem with that is that parent groups include people who accidentally got pregnant. Problems with accidental- surprise of the pregnancy can be stressful, they are unprepared so that is stressful, probably unhappy with the situation, probably not even married, or maybe only got married bc they got pregnant, quality of that relationship is not as good as the quality of a relationship where they want to be together and want to have a baby, not reasonable to conclude that the kid or having a child causes the relationship dissatisfaction bc these ppl had relationship issues other thanthe kid to start out with.)B. Parent group includes those "staying together for the kids"- having the kid isn't what makes them dislike eachother, they have relationship These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.issues but they are in the married-with-kids group so they bring the satisfaction of that group down lower (if they didnt have kids they would get divorced, if they didnt have kids they wouldnt be in either group bc theyd be divorced)C. Parents who are married tend to be younger than those are married and non-parents.- People who wait longer to be married tend to be happier in their relationships than those who get married really young. Being older makes them happier whether they have kids or notD. Parents tend to be less affluent - couples who are married with kids are not as affluent as those without kids (DINKs- double income, no kids). Kids cost a lot of money. It couldbe also they are more stressed out bc of finances. It's not that the kid itself makes you more stress or less satisfied.III. Changes that Occur with the TransitionA. Division of labor - kids take time and work. With kids, the labor increases a lot. Generally, the division of labor is still very traditional, especially when the kids are young. Women do the vast majority of child care. (ex- men cannot nurse children, womenhave to get up in the middle of the night to breastfeed, mens restrooms do not have changing tables, if man is making more $ then woman is going to stay home to take care of kid, women sometimes get maternity leave while men do not)B. Leisure Activities - fun activities go down (division of labor goes up and leisure activities go down with kids) - you don't have as much couple time as you used to. (can't say 4pm on a sunday lets go see a movie! bc you have a baby. Have to arrange a babysitter, etc) Women's leisure time alone goes down less, men's leisure time without partner goes down more - bc women can do leisure acitivities with the baby and their friends, and men cannot do their lesiure acitvities with a baby (can't bring baby to a golf course or sports bar))C. Socioemotional behavior / communication - positive things wife and husband do to each other and negative things they do to each other, if you look at couples with and without a baby there is really not that much difference, and not that much change before and after the baby (amount of compliments and hugs, amount of fighting and nagging) If fight before the baby, you'll fight after the baby too.IV. How Do Changes Affect Satisfaction?A. Division of Labor - does it affect couples level of satisfaction? Answer is- not really. The fact that women do more household work than men, that doesn't affect their marital satisfaction. People who have a child before the first year marriage- in that group, women's satisfaction with their relationship declines after the baby (and less satisfied doing more of the housework), but its bc they got pregnant before they were marriedB. Leisure activities - not related to people's relationship satisfaction. Couples understandthey have a baby and know they're not happy that they can't go out for a run whenever they want but they still like their partner.C. Socioemotional behavior/communication - theres not a change here with or without kid, but it does hugely affect satisfaction. (how much positive/negative things you do for each other) So- if you're not satisfied before, you'll be unsatisfied after the child. If you'rehappy before and act positively toward each other before baby, you'll be happy and act positively after the baby.V. What DOES Affect Satisfaction? A. Division of labor and leisure actives don't... Socioeconoomic behavior/communicationdoes but doesn't change that muchIf you have more traditional gender roles (about division of labor and stuff like that) the tradition of labor is easier (does NOT mean you can't be happy without traditional genderroles, but traditional just makes it easier). If it works out like expectations, most people expecting traditional, then its going to be a little easier.Fathers who perceive they are skilled with child care tend to be happier (happier dads andhappier in their marriage) If you feel skilled and good at something, its more fun and makes you happier than if you're doing something and know you're bad at it (makes you feel bad if you're bad at it).Women who prefer to have their husbands involved with child care, are happier. So if woman prefers to have husband involved and he is skilled then they are in good shape. (ifshe wants him involved and he's not, or if he wants to be involved and she won't let him, then they will be unhappy. Women can be gatekeepers in their traditional roles and not want husband doing childcare)B. Couple's expectations - what are the couples expectations going into the parenthoodadventure? If you know