CMS 357 1st Edition Lecture 6II. MEANINGS OF INTIMACYA. Self-Disclosure 1. Gender 2. Partner relationships 3. Parent-child relationshipsa. Moms receive more disclosure than dads do, since moms spend more time with their childrenb. If the dad happens to be more nurturing than they will disclose more to their dadsc. As kids get older they begin to disclose more to their best friends than to parentsB. Sexuality 1. Parent-child communication: big findings show that parents and children don’t talk frequently about sex, not addressed very well, characterized into three different groups:a. Neglectful: low communication, discussion about sex when it does happen itis abstract and indirect, no link about topic and personal experienceb. Abusive: closed rigid structure- not a lot of communication with extended family, system is closed, often internal boundary confusion, in extreme casesboundary confusion: incest, when abusive families talk about sex it tends to be indirect and abstract- they don’t want to address the issue, functional for abuser to not talk about it and stay indirect- this is what allows the abuse to continuec. Healthy Family: respect for both genders, appropriate boundaries, clear effective communication about sex2. Partner Communication a. Amount of communication and being direct is not that occurring b. Satisfaction has to do with being open and disclose more about sexc. Mindreading can not be that affective, misunderstandings can occur when you rely on nonverbald. Euphemisms 3. Commitmenta. How to communicate: how explicit is the behavior (putting a ring on her finger) implicit is not defined i. Importance: marriage, spending money of a ring, Valentine’s dayii. Irrevocable- I love you, proposing a marriage, having sex, buying stuff together, how often do you do this committed behavior, if you engage in the behavior repeatedly, what happens when suppose says I love you and one person doesn’t say it backiii. Degree of volition- is it voluntary or do they not want to engage in the behavior, one person gives the ultimatum about getting marriediv. Effort- a gift card, investment- the way we communicate commitment to each other b. Types of1. Personal Commitment- “want to”, invested in the relationship because you want to be in the relationship, highly linked to satisfaction/ not checking other alternatives2. Structural Commitment- “Have to” commitment, this is more of an obligated commitment, this relationship keeps going because of a feeling of having to- children/ money/ pregnancy/ religion3. Moral Commitment- "ought to” you want kids to have a good family/ health