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UT CMS 357 - Family Rules

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Lecture 4II. Family RulesCreate regularity and coordinate meaningManteca feedback or change feedbackFiguring out the rules can be really informative and help explain why we lean a certain wayA. Create RegularityB. Types of RulesCan talk about school but do not bring up sex with their childrenMoney finances- don’t talk aboutCursing- respect, age differencesHow you talk about things- words you use, tone of voiceWhen you talk about things- the environment and social context makes a differenceWho don’t swear or talk about sex in front of grandmaC. Are maintained via communicationMaintenance-getting the look or nudge under the table- if you break the ruleChange- grandma says the word or brings up the topic- mom says cleaveD. Vary in importanceOne could be observing how they respond to an indirect exampleE. Are governed by metarulesWhen you are the man of the houseThese rules apply to kids but not adultsTop of the hierarchy create the rulesRules- more strict at moms than dad- more strictly enforced in other areaCreate regulatory and tell us about meetingsIII. Family StoriesRepresent the family history and represent ruleRegulate meaningAppreciate what you have and what your parents provide for youGuys growing up and being leadersMen in US culture are suppose to be providersIdeal stories- what a family should look like- here is what family SHOULD doIV. Family Communication NetworksA. Chain- next person tells the nxt person- Could be hierarchal, immediate family and then extended familyB. Y- the parents tell- tell the other kids- the Y is more hierarchicalC. Wheel- one person in the center tells everyone- one HUB personD. All channel- everyone blabs to everyone, no specific patternSiblings would have a close relationship if the parents didn’t feed all the information- manipulative mom will tell the other sibling that sibling 1 said something bad- says you’re my favorite of all the siblings- this is a dysfunctional- change the hubCMS 357 1st Edition  Lecture4  II. Family Rules- Create regularity and coordinate meaning - Manteca feedback or change feedback - Figuring out the rules can be really informative and help explain why we lean a certain way  A. Create Regularity B. Types of Rules - Can talk about school but do not bring up sex with their children- Money finances- don’t talk about- Cursing- respect, age differences- How you talk about things- words you use, tone of voice - When you talk about things- the environment and social context makes a difference- Who don’t swear or talk about sex in front of grandma C. Are maintained via communication- Maintenance-getting the look or nudge under the table- if you break the rule- Change- grandma says the word or brings up the topic- mom says cleave  D. Vary in importance - One could be observing how they respond to an indirect example E. Are governed by metarules - When you are the man of the house- These rules apply to kids but not adults- Top of the hierarchy create the rules- Rules- more strict at moms than dad- more strictly enforced in other area- Create regulatory and tell us about meetings III. Family Stories- Represent the family history and represent rule- Regulate meaning - Appreciate what you have and what your parents provide for you- Guys growing up and being leaderso Men in US culture are suppose to be providerso Ideal stories- what a family should look like- here is what family SHOULD do IV. Family Communication NetworksA. Chain- next person tells the nxt person- Could be hierarchal, immediate family and then extended family B. Y- the parents tell- tell the other kids- the Y is more hierarchicalC. Wheel- one person in the center tells everyone- one HUB personD. All channel- everyone blabs to everyone, no specific patternSiblings would have a close relationship if the parents didn’t feed all the information- manipulative mom will tell the other sibling that sibling 1 said something bad- says you’re my favorite of all the siblings- this is a dysfunctional- change the


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