Content and relationship messages- Content messages: the objective, verifiable, surface level meaning of a message- Relationship messages: Often implicit statements a communication makes about the status ofa relationship- Content: the action. - Relationship: what the action meansKnapp’s model of relationship development. -  Going from a stranger to someone really well and back- Initiating o Meeting someone o Most people stay hereo Goals: Uncertainty reduction Positive social outcomeso Behaviors Attention to social norms- Demonstrate that you know and understand the rules of societyo Focus on commonalities (why we engage in smalltalk) o Emphasize the positive o Superficial self disclosureo Immediate reciprocity - Experimentingo If the first stage goes well, move on to this stepo Test driveo Goals Establish common ground Increase breadth of involvement o Behaviors Small talk Information exchange Immediate reciprocity- Intensifying o Threshold of relationshipo Now you’re friendso Goal Establish a [shared] conception of a relationship Both people have to be on boardo Behaviors: Exchange personal information Informal forms of address  Linguistic markers of intimacy -> Pronouns  Referring to collective unit (us/we vs you and me) Cultivate relational symbols – items that stand for the relationship (inside jokes, pictures, etc) Reference shared experience – Talk about the past- Integrating – best friendso Goals Develop a single social unit Separate relationship as unique from other relationships,o Behaviors  Cultivate distinctive shared interests Celebrate relational symbols  Mimicry (Pick up on each other’s behaviors)  Shared responsibilities - Bondingo Goals Establish the relationship as a socially recognized institution o Behaviors Engage in a socially recognized ritual - Definition of social exchangeo The voluntary transference of some resource from one person to another in return for some other resource o Controversial: Some don’t think that this is good enough to measure human motivation- Rewards and costso Reward: Any resource to which a person can attach valueo Cost: An experience which individuals want to avoid or find undesirable: loss of a resource  Direct cost: Time and money Investment cost: time and energy you spend developing and maintaining a relationship Opportunity cost: all of the other relationships you don’t get to have because of the one you’re in. (Not enough of you to go around)- Social exchange in relationshipso People enter relationships to get resources that they otherwise would not haveo To get resources from others, people must give up or exchange relationships that they do have- Economic exchange compared to social exchange o Economic exchange: Specific obligations, Specific time frames, open to bargaining, obligation enforced by legal system, exchange is impersonal, rate of exchange is fixed, value of resources is not dependent on the sourceo Social Exchange: Unspecified obligations, Time frame unspecified , not open to bargaining, obligation enforced through informal structures like trust or peer pressure, exchange is personal, rate of exchange is not fixed, value of resources is tied to the source- The rule of distributive justice o People are basically selfisho Maximizing personal outcomes requires satisfying the reward needs of otherso Equity exists in a relationship if rewards are distributed proportionally relative to thecosts each person incurs- Changes in social exchange rules as a relationship develops o Non-common resources are exchangedo Periods of excessive costs are toleratedo Rewards take on greater valueo Rewards and costs are evaluated in terms of the dyad (What’s good for us, not what’s good for