CMS 357 1st Edition Lecture 6 II MEANINGS OF INTIMACY A Self Disclosure 1 Gender 2 Partner relationships 3 Parent child relationships a Moms receive more disclosure than dads do since moms spend more time with their children b If the dad happens to be more nurturing than they will disclose more to their dads c As kids get older they begin to disclose more to their best friends than to parents B Sexuality 1 Parent child communication big findings show that parents and children don t talk frequently about sex not addressed very well characterized into three different groups a Neglectful low communication discussion about sex when it does happen it is abstract and indirect no link about topic and personal experience b Abusive closed rigid structure not a lot of communication with extended family system is closed often internal boundary confusion in extreme cases boundary confusion incest when abusive families talk about sex it tends to be indirect and abstract they don t want to address the issue functional for abuser to not talk about it and stay indirect this is what allows the abuse to continue c Healthy Family respect for both genders appropriate boundaries clear effective communication about sex 2 Partner Communication a Amount of communication and being direct is not that occurring b Satisfaction has to do with being open and disclose more about sex c Mindreading can not be that affective misunderstandings can occur when you rely on nonverbal d Euphemisms 3 Commitment a How to communicate how explicit is the behavior putting a ring on her finger implicit is not defined i Importance marriage spending money of a ring Valentine s day ii Irrevocable I love you proposing a marriage having sex buying stuff together how often do you do this committed behavior if you engage in the behavior repeatedly what happens when suppose says I love you and one person doesn t say it back iii Degree of volition is it voluntary or do they not want to engage in the behavior one person gives the ultimatum about getting married iv Effort a gift card investment the way we communicate commitment to each other b Types of 1 Personal Commitment want to invested in the relationship because you want to be in the relationship highly linked to satisfaction not checking other alternatives 2 Structural Commitment Have to commitment this is more of an obligated commitment this relationship keeps going because of a feeling of having to children money pregnancy religion 3 Moral Commitment ought to you want kids to have a good family health concerns