Attraction and RelationshipScientfic study of attraction & relationships doesn’t always line up with “common sense” Few people marrying now than ever before(94% in 1960 vs 85% in 2007)People waiting longer than ever before to marryAverage age: men 27, women 26Probability of first marriage ending in divorceWithin 5 years: 20%Within 10 years: 33% 2. Predictors of Attraction- Attraction: the desire to approach or be with someoneo Attraction research has uncovered a number of “principles”- A. Familiarity: Liking those we encounter frequentlyo Proximity: Being physically nearbyo Mere exposure: people come to like stimuli to which they have been exposed repeatedly The classroom exposure study (1992)- Females posed as student in a large lecture class- They did not interact with anybody- IV = Exposure: the numb of class sessions they attended – 0,5,10,15 out of 40- Degree of exposure strongly predicted greater liking (nogender differences)- But didn’t predict students sense of familiarity - B. Similarity: we like people who (we think) are similar to uso Byrnes law of attraction” (1971) attraction positively related to the proportion of attitude similarity shared with that person The strongest effect is on attitudes and values But don’t opposites attract?- We do like complementarily on dominance-submissiveness, but that’s it- C. Reciprocity: liking those who like uso An enormously powerful effecto Dale Carnegie book (1937) Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”o If you want others to like you make sure they know you like themo But: the story with romantic attraction is more complicated We like people who like us uniquely - D. Physical Attractivenesso People are attracted to the physically attractiveo The computer dance study (1966) Incoming college freshman randomly paired for a dance The biggest predictor of desire to date the person was physical attractiveness (both sexes, rs ~ .70)o Stated preferences only? Men say attractiveness is more important to them than women do. But in practice physical attractiveness is the best predictor of attraction for BOTH sexes- What is attractive?o Is physical attractiveness “in the eye of the beholder?o In part. But there is huge cross-cultural consistency in attractiveness ratingso “Averageness”- E. Sex differences in Selectivityo 1. The thAnree questions study: College men and women were approached by moderately attractive opposite-sex confederate “I have been noticing you around campus. I find you attractive. Would you…- Go out with me tonight?- Come over to my apartment tonight?- Like to go to bed with me tonight?o 2. Embodies emotions and sex differences Maybe men are less selective because they are expected to approach women? Speed-dating- IV: Men rotated vs women rotated (nontraditional) Approaching someone makes us eager and being approached makes us cautious Love and Relationships What is love?o “a desire to enter maintain, or expand a close, connected, and ongoing relationship with another person or other entity” (Reis & Aron, 2008) Types of loveo Passionate euphoria, intimacy, intense sexual attractiono Companionate affection, trust, concern for partner’s well-being Ideal relationships have both, but they develop at different times. o Passionate swift onset, declines over timeo Companionate progressive onset, relatively durable Anthropologists romantic love identified in 88% of cultures surveyed (Jankowiak & Fischer, 1992)o Not always a necessary component of
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