Attraction and Relationship Scientfic study of attraction relationships doesn t always line up with common sense Few people marrying now than ever before 94 in 1960 vs 85 in 2007 People waiting longer than ever before to marry Average age men 27 women 26 Probability of first marriage ending in divorce Within 5 years 20 Within 10 years 33 2 Predictors of Attraction Attraction the desire to approach or be with someone o Attraction research has uncovered a number of principles A Familiarity Liking those we encounter frequently o Proximity Being physically nearby o Mere exposure people come to like stimuli to which they have been exposed repeatedly The classroom exposure study 1992 Females posed as student in a large lecture class They did not interact with anybody IV Exposure the numb of class sessions they attended 0 5 10 15 out of 40 Degree of exposure strongly predicted greater liking no gender differences But didn t predict students sense of familiarity B Similarity we like people who we think are similar to us o Byrnes law of attraction 1971 attraction positively related to the proportion of attitude similarity shared with that person The strongest effect is on attitudes and values But don t opposites attract We do like complementarily on dominancesubmissiveness but that s it C Reciprocity liking those who like us o An enormously powerful effect o Dale Carnegie book 1937 Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise o If you want others to like you make sure they know you like them o But the story with romantic attraction is more complicated We like people who like us uniquely D Physical Attractiveness o People are attracted to the physically attractive o The computer dance study 1966 Incoming college freshman randomly paired for a dance The biggest predictor of desire to date the person was physical attractiveness both sexes rs 70 o Stated preferences only Men say attractiveness is more important to them than women do But in practice physical attractiveness is the best predictor of attraction for BOTH sexes What is attractive o Is physical attractiveness in the eye of the beholder o In part But there is huge cross cultural consistency in attractiveness ratings o Averageness E Sex differences in Selectivity o 1 The thAnree questions study College men and women were approached by moderately attractive opposite sex confederate I have been noticing you around campus I find you attractive Would you Go out with me tonight Come over to my apartment tonight Like to go to bed with me tonight o 2 Embodies emotions and sex differences Maybe men are less selective because they are expected to approach women Speed dating IV Men rotated vs women rotated nontraditional Approaching someone makes us eager and being approached makes us cautious Love and Relationships What is love o a desire to enter maintain or expand a close connected and ongoing relationship with another person or other entity Reis Aron 2008 Types of love o Passionate euphoria intimacy intense sexual attraction o Companionate affection trust concern for partner s well being Ideal relationships have both but they develop at different times o Passionate swift onset declines over time o Companionate progressive onset relatively durable Anthropologists romantic love identified in 88 of cultures surveyed Jankowiak Fischer 1992 o Not always a necessary component of marriage