FAMILY RULES Rules Well established strategies recurring patterns of interaction that define the limits of acceptable and appropriate behavior in the family o Normative rules based on Social Norms Beliefs that prescribe promote or proscribe forbid the ways that people should or should not behave o Non normative rules component of the family system tend to be implicit Patterns of behavior repeated regularly become part of the governing How do rules emerge I D N T o Intergenerational transmission culturally impacted o Derive from family of origin o Negotiated by family members o Through a series of interactions Trial and Error Conflict and Resolution What is the purpose of rules M S B P o Maintain regularity o System accountability o Boundary maintenance o Prevention of chaos provide structure order Scenario One Jason come in here this minute Gee Mom keep your shirt on no need to yell I have told you a million times that when you get something out it is your responsibility to put it away Why do you leave these messes Do you think I am your maid that I ll just keep on picking up after you like you are some type of prince Sorry Mom I Sorry isn t good enough get in here and clean this mess up Family Rule Underscore individual responsibility Scenario Two Jason I m home There is no reply from the bedroom Jason do you know anything about this mess The ice cream is getting on the floor honey There is still no reply She wipes up the mess and begins to prepare dinner Family rule Keep the peace at any cost minimize conflict Scenario Three Jason could you come out here for a minute Hi Mom what s up I m not too happy about the ice cream mess I need to take a shower and relax for a minute When the kitchen is clean I ll tackle dinner Can you take care of it please I am in the middle of a math problem Well I am hungry but we won t start dinner until the mess is gone Family rule Insist on logical consequences Rules can be explicit overt or implicit covert o Explicit overt Rules that are formalized through high visibility o Implicit covert Rules that are hidden submerged from view so that the family never questions them not openly stated yet understood by all powerful Rule Sequences A connected series of rules that govern complex patterns in the behavior of several individuals in a Trump And Regis Are Millionaires family system Operate in a cyclical pattern When maladaptive can be considered vicious cycles Management strategies families can use Think Sequences Adaptability Revise inappropriate rules Attack disabling rules Maintain rule implicitness Rules About Rules Metarules Always contain limits and exceptions Operate to modify and qualify family rules Define appropriate and inappropriate behavior