Marriage Definition A specific family subsystem comprised of two adults from two families of origin who have bonded together to form what they intend to be a stable and long term cohabiting relationship MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES Includes Experimental marriages Traditional marriages heterosexual religious or civil institution o Voluntary marriages based on love common law o Trial marriages live together and may marry o Long term cohabitation never plan to marry o Same sex couples Relationship Quality Satisfaction an individual s subjective evaluation of the marriage the degree to which one perceives their needs to be met Happiness how a person feels about his her marriage emotional state Adjustment how a person views the relationship with their partner communication goals Stability how likely a couple is to divorce 5 Marriage Types 1 Conflict Habituated Relationship Constant and reoccurring arguments Main characteristics tension and unresolved conflict frequent fighting Marriage continues force of habit or dependency Young couples are more likely to end the relationship than older 20 30 of long term marriages 2 Devitalized Relationship Living separate lives committed to the institution of marriage not each other Marriage was once vital but is no longer take one another for granted Marriage continues shared duties and absence of conflict stagnation Common 1 3 of long term marriages Susceptible to divorce passion connection did once exist 3 Passive Congenial Relationship Friends but living separate lives spend more time apart no tension or conflict Similar to devitalized except never vital romance less likely to be disillusioned Emphasis on commonality and practicality Divorce risk less than previous two 4 Vital Relationship Best friends spend much time together but still individuals ideal marriage Main characteristics sharing and togetherness Value relationship Resolve conflict Close to societal ideal of marriage Divorce risk increases if vitality is lost 1 3 of couples last over 10 years 5 Total Relationship Share everything same job sole friend and no separateness 1 Positivity 2 Openness 3 Assurances 4 Social networks 5 Sharing tasks Similar to vital except More sharing at intellectual and psychological levels Joint discussions and physical expressions Shared professional and personal interests High standards Rare in couples divorce is less likely Maintenance Strategies Pick Only Apple Strawb Slices Just to Maintain Being cheerful and upbeat not criticizing the partner Directly discussing the nature of the relationship reciprocal exchange vulnerability Stressing one s commitment and love Attempt to involve friends and family in various activities Equal investment in commitments household obligations 6 Joint activities 7 Talk depth vs breadth 8 Mediated Communication not face to face electronic means social media 9 Avoidance 10 Antisocial 11 Affection 12 Focus on self Tasks stage transition to marriage 1 Establishing an identity as a married couple Establishing marital and family themes o o Negotiation of marital roles o Evolving a congruence of conjugal identities 2 Defining marital boundaries o o Regulating distances with family and friends Regulating distances within the new marriage 3 Managing the household Evolving housekeeping strategies o o Managing finances in the new marital system 4 Managing the emotional climate o Expressing intimacy and support o Evolving a marital sexual script o Managing conflict Cohabitation Union that is not legally sanctioned but is consensual it can involve same sex or other sex partners Reasons Delay of marriage Contraceptive advances Changing norms Divorce rate Similarities and Differences Similarities Shared values beliefs Monogamy Children Tasks encountered text discusses these Differences Treatment by law Social and institutional support Reasons for cohabiting Most have plans to marry More likely to cohabitate when planned in advance Choice related to o Ideology o Partner suitability o Relationship stage o Inability to marry