KIN 123 1st Edition Guest Speakers Lecture 4 Partner Violence 101 URI violence prevention and advocacy services Defining Partner Violence o Physical sexual or psychological harm or threat of harm by a current or former partner o 1 in 4 women in the US o 1 in 14 men in the US Why does this matter o It s a worldwide epidemic o College students are especially at risk o Anyone can abuse or be abused o We can make a difference as college students to change the culture What can cause abuse o A strong sense of entitlement o An abuser believing they must have power and control over their partner o Belief that they can get away with it o Belief that their wants needs and lives take priority over their partner s o Making the choice to abuse What cant cause abuse o Substance abuse o Stress o The victim s behavior o Provocation o Anger o Childhood experiences with abuse o Mental illness Power and control The Foundations of Abuse o Honeymoon phase tension building violence honeymoon tension etc Kinds of abuse o Physical Can include threats of harm Doesn t need to leave a bruise to count o Psychological Belittling criticizing humiliation name calling invading privacy o Sexual Being forced to perform or receive unwanted sexual acts o Financial Controlling their finances in an attempt to make the victim stay o Spiritual Common red flags o Physical violence or threats These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor s lecture GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes not as a substitute o Belittling criticizing humiliation o Extreme jealousy or insecurity o Possessiveness o Controlling behavior o Quick involvement o Isolation from friends and family Misconceptions and myths o Abusers can t control their behavior o Men can t be abused o Abuse only happens to certain kinds of people o If it were that bad the victim would just leave Why don t they just leave o Fear o Denial o Shame embarrassment o Shared house kids pets money o Pressure to stay from family or friends o Believes abuser will change o Thinks It s not so bad o Violence will get worse o Afraid of not being believed o Love Barriers for special populations o LGBTQ individuals o People of color o People of different abilities o Male identified individuals Effects of abuse o Physical Changes in sleep patterns Eating too much or too little Sexual behavior changes Chronic pain Abusing substances to cope o Psychological Low self esteem Depression Anxiety PTSD Changes in social behavior Isolation extroversion etc How can I help my friend o Listen and be supportive Don t share your own experiences let them talk o Be non judgmental o Try not to give advice o Do not cut off communication with them o Do not force them to choose between you and the abuser o Direct them to helpful resources o Practice self care Ingredients of a healthy relationship o Trust o Honesty o Respect o Communication o Compromise o Support o Compassion o Time apart You have the right to o Be treated with dignity and respect o Ask for what you want o Feel safe and free from harm o Follow your own values and standards o Say no and not feel guilty o Take time for yourself o Pursue your own interests and passions o Change grow and be happy Stepping in as a bystander o Remember the 3 D s Direct Delegate and Distract o Keep yourself safe o Strength in numbers o Know who to call for help