ComSt 101 Exam 3 Study Guide Chapter 6: Know and understand The different filters used when selecting friends/partners (according to filtering theory) • Sociological or incidental cues o Demographic or environmental factors that determine probability of contact o Include factors such as where we work and live, how frequently we travel, and so on. o Physical proximity is a key factor (closeness relates to relationships) • Preinteraction cues o We use body type, physical beauty, dress, and related artifacts to give us some idea of what others are like. o Surface details determine whether future interactions will occur o “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” – true • Interaction cues o If conversation goes well and is easy that determines rewarding interactions and attraction • Cognitive cues o Most important filter o Strongest factors in creating long-lasting relationships are psychological o More important than looks o Being open about your beliefs, attitudes, and values (the more common the more likely) The characteristics of interpersonal communication • All communication that occurs between people • Generally reserved for two-person, face-to-face interaction, and is often used interchangeably with the term dyadic communication. • Direct, Personal, Immediate, Spontaneous, and Informal Definition of self-disclosure • Occurs when we reveal information to others that they are unlikely to discover on their own: when we voluntarily open up to them. Three types of dialectics/tensions mentioned in class and the text • Expressive-protective (issue with 8% of men and 31% of women) o Balance between the need to share personal information and the need to maintain privacy. • Autonomy-togetherness (issue with 27% of men and 44% of women) o Independence vs. interdependence • Novelty-predictability (issues with 19% of men and 3% of women) o Matter of finding ways to balance the familiar and the new Power interaction pattern patterns • Dominant – one up role/ Submissive – one down role • Complementary o One member is dominant the other is submissive o Can be good because decisions are made rapidly and easily o But this can become too rigid and dissatisfaction will occur• Symmetrical o Competitive and submissive symmetry o Submissive is a paradox because my trying not be in control they are trying to control one another Types of dysfunctional communication behaviors • Rigid Role relation (complementary vs. symmetrical patterns) • Paradoxes o Sending contradictory messages o Double blind – 2 incongruent messages that can’t be resolved • Spirals o A quick and rapid increase of a type of behavior o Progressive § Increasing trust and commitment o Regressive § Damaging thoughts and behaviors o Interpersonal self-fulfilling prophecy Stages of relationship development • Journey to Intimacy • Initiating stage o Partners work to create a favorable initial impression, observe cues about personality, attitudes, and willingness to engage in further interaction; and look for ways to open communication channels. • Experimenting stage o Search for common ground and begin to build their relationship • Intensifying stage o Make initial moves toward greater involvement. Self disclosure, inclusive pronouns, and verbal shortcuts all increase. • Integrating stage o Individuals become a couple both in their own and in others’ eyes. Attitudes and interests are shared, and social circles merge. Intimacy trophies (shared clothing) • Retreat from intimacy • Differentiating stage o Couple begins to notice and comment on previously overlooked disparities • Circumscribing stage o Members carefully restrict their communication • Stagnating stage o Characterized by silence and inactivity • Avoiding stage o Partners separate either physically or emotionally. • Terminating stage o Relational disengagement. Over. “Gravedressing” stage in dyadic relationships • Get it over with and put it behind me stage. the partner may give explanations that are true or not for why the relationship is over and either one or both of the parties involved may feel peace about the conflict.Examples of advising responses mentioned in the text • Impervious, Interrupting, Irrelevant, Tangential, Impersonal, Incoherent, Incongruous Reasons why people build dyads • Better immune systems • Develop sense of self and includes the other into self (looking glass self) • Validate our view of the world (social comparison) • Without interpersonal relationships, we would fail to thrive • Interpersonal relationships help us develop stable self-concepts • Offer us comfort and support Matching hypothesis in relationships • People are more likely to form long lasting relationships with people who are as attractive as they are Differences between exchange vs. communal relationships • Exchange – the trading of benefits/ dinner for tutoring • Communal – direct concern for partner’s welfare (lending money) Types of attachment styles • Secure (60%) o Like self and other (“normal”) o Provide more support o Think long-term o Report high self-esteem and happiness in relationship o No negative influence • Avoidant (25%) o Like self, dislike others (avoid attachment) o Seek less support o Less warm and supportive behavior • Anxious (11%) o Dislike self, like others (fear of losing attachment) o Report high stress, anger and anxiety, lower feeling of love Low-ball technique • Offer incentive to make a decision, offer revoked, decision still made Gender differences in what people disclose in personal ads • Men disclose – profession, age, money, and hobbies (men seek attractiveness) • Women disclose – hair color, family, and good listener (women seek status and personality) Looking-glass self • Cooley's term for the image people have of themselves based on how they believe others perceive themDeception in personal relationships • 80% deceive partner in last 2 weeks • Easily deceived – don’t look for deception cues and truth bias Commitment and relationship maintenance • Single, low commit, and high commit. Single : Attractiveness (high: single. Low commit, high commit) Dating: Attractiveness (high: low commit, high commit, single) Chapter 7: Know and understand The glass cliff • Women chosen to lead in