CLARK HDEV 155 - Chapter 1 - How Do People Communicate (4 pages)

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Chapter 1 - How Do People Communicate



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Chapter 1 - How Do People Communicate

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Lecture Notes


Pages:
4
School:
Clark College
Course:
Hdev 155 - Assertiveness

Unformatted text preview:

Chapter 1 How Do People Communicate Or Distinguishing Between Nonassertive Passive Aggressive and Assertive Behavior The Nonassertive Circle p 5 I don t want to hurt the person so I decide to be nonassertive But my suppressed feelings come out in subtle negative ways which hurt the relationship The Nonassertive Option Trapping Yourself into Nonassertion 1 Being overly concerned with hurting someone s feelings and ignoring your own feelings and wants You don t have to take responsibility for the other person s feelings This traps you into the Nonassertive Circle You can recognize a Nonassertive Circle by asking yourself these questions What will be the long term effects on this relationship on the other person and on myself if I don t say what I want feel or believe Will these long term effects be worse than any short term discomfort I or the other person may feel if I am assertive in the first place 2 Fooling yourself into believing that Your feelings aren t real You shouldn t have the feelings you have Your feelings don t matter when compared to someone else s If you are assertive an unbearable scene will occur or You have no choice other than to comply with what the other person wants 3 Manipulation Trying to get the other person to withdraw their request so you don t have to say what you believe feel or want 1 The Aggressive Option Feeling vulnerable or like we are losing control can set off automatic exaggerated thoughts that propel us into aggressive action Some of the typical ones are I m going to have to show him who s boss around here She s not going to get away with making a fool out of me I ve put up with this treatment long enough and I ve got every right to get nasty now The Assertive Option Assertiveness avoids both of the extremes that aggression and nonassertion lead to The three options are not on a continuum Aggression is the flip side of nonassertion Both nonassertion and aggression typically stem from feeling threatened and helpless feelings that



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