HD 204 1nd Edition Lecture 19 Outline of Last Lecture I Development of Intimacy II Commitment III Self Disclosure IV Intimacy and Sex in Partner Relationships Outline of Current Lecture II Sexual Scripts III Sex and Partner Relationships IV Parent Child Communication V Factors in Intimacy Current Lecture Sexual Scripts o More contemporary sexual scripts are not so gendered o Most durable gender difference is sexual double standards Sex and Partner Relationships o Communication in the bedroom starts in other rooms o The ability to talk about sex is link to satisfaction o Couples in long term sexual relationships may be more satisfied o Sexual relationships change over the life cycle Parent Child Communication o Mothers discuss sex more with children especially the daughters o Girls who talk with their moms are More likely to have conservative values Less likely to engage in sex More likely to consistently use condoms o Some parents still don t want to talk about sex o Some parents want to talk about it but know how o Not talking about sex still send a message that it is bad Factors in Intimacy o Effort Putting time and energy into a relationship Gottman s love map These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor s lecture GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes not as a substitute What s your partner s favorite least relative What s your partner s current worries Who is your partner s best friend What was your partner s most stressful childhood event What is your partner s dreams o Sacrifice Setting aside self interest Examples o Relocating for partner s career o Working extra shifts o Quitting smoking o Skipping a road trip to go a sibling s graduation o Forgiveness Involves Acknowledging person s action as harmful Transforming psychological state Offer reconciliation Renegotiating relationship Obligatory nature of family relationship motivates us to forgive Some are too hard to forgive o Fears of intimacy Merger loss of boundaries Exposure will expose weakness Attack lack of trust in others Abandonment feeling alone o Jealousy Perception that valued relationship is being threatened Results in distance negativity avoidance and violence o Couples o Siblings o Deception Intentionally withholding information or communicating false information Violates expectation of commitment Loss of trust Leads to dissatisfaction
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