Chapter 4: Social CognitionSocial Cognition: the processes of perception and judgment with which we make sense of our social worlds.Our perceptions and interpretations of our partnerships are enormously important:What we think helps to determine what we feel, and then how we act.First ImpressionsFirst impressions have enormous staying power. They influence our judgments of others for a long time.Why?First impressions may last because they’re discerning and correct, others can be erroneous, but either way they linger for quite some time.Judgments influenced by the fact that everyone we meet fits some category of people about whom we already hold stereotyped first impressions:Male/femaleAttractive/plainYoung/old ….etc.Stereotypes influence us automatically and unconsciously.Asch (1946)One group read this description: Other group read this description:Intelligent EnviousIndustrious StubbornImpulsive CriticalCritical ImpulsiveStubborn IndustriousEnvious Intelligent**Rated First More PositivelyFirst Impressionsprimacy effects: a tendency for the first information we receive about others to carry special weight, along with our instant impressions and stereotypes to shape our overall impressions of others.eg. Hannah (social class)  takes aptitude test, although no preconceived bias on intellect based on social class, assumptions made when assessing her test answers.confirmation bias: seeking information that will confirm our belief more often than looking for examples to prove them wrong.Confirmation strategies elicit one sided information about others that fits our preconceptions and rarely confront unequivocal evidence that our first impression is wrong.overconfidence: we often think we’re right about others more than we actually are.In relationships, although confidence on knowledge about another person goes up, actual accuracy regarding certain information doesn’t necessarily change.Thus: The first things we learn a) direct attention to certain types of new information and b) influence our interpretation of those new factsMost accurate predictions on the future of a heterosexual relationship come from parents/friends more so than people in relationships themselves.Thus, not outright biased, just more influenced by what we want to see and are less able to be objective the more involved we are.The Power of PerceptionsIdealizing Our PartnersPositive Illusions: judging our partners in a way that portrays them in the best possible lightDo not ignore faults, just see them as less significant than other people perceive them to be.Can be negative if we hold too unrealistic of positive illusions, but if realistic, can be very beneficial to relationshipWe can perceive them as the best they can be and edit our ideals so that they fit the reality we face.Attributional ProcessesAttributions are our explanations of events, why a person did or did not do something.The Power of Perceptions: Attributional ProcessesWe can emphasize influences that are:Internal to a person, such as personality or mood, or external, describing the situation the person faced.Stable and lasting, or unstable and temporary.Controllable so we can manage them, or uncontrollable, so there’s nothing we can do about themGlobal, affecting many situations, or specific, affecting only a few.The Power of Perceptions: Attributional ProcessesThe actor/observer effect: generating different explanations for your own behavior than for similar actions you observe in your partnersAcknowledging external attributions to their own actions but making internal attributions when other people act the exact same way.Self-serving biases: when you readily take credit for your successes but try to avoid the blame for your failures.Ie) give ourselves credit for our own good intentions, even when we don’t follow through, but judge others only by what they do, not what they may have intended to do.People also expect others to be self-serving, but they don’t feel that they are themselvesHappy couples make relationship enhancing attributions (above graph), whereas unhappy couples make distress maintaining attributions.reconstructive memory: the manner in which our memory is continually revised and rewritten as new information is obtained.Partners current feelings about each other influence what they remember about their shared pastCan be positive and/or negative, depending on if produces damaging overconfidence or promoting optimism for the futureThe Power of Perceptions: Relationship BeliefsPeople enter partnerships with established beliefs about what relationships are like, organized in mental structures called schemas.schemas: provide a filing system for our knowledge about relationships and coherent assumptions about how they work.Different schemas people believe for their relationships:Romanticism: love should be the most important basis for choosing a mate(fun fact: men more likely than women to fall in love at first sight)Believe:1. Each of us has only one perfect “true love”2. True love will find a way to overcome any obstacle3. Love is possible at first sightpositive allusionscan be good, but also can be unrealistic and set up disappointmenthave to continue to work on the “love”/”romantic” aspect of relationshipDestiny Beliefs: assumes 2 people are well suited for each other (and destined to live happily ever after) or not.Unrealistic beliefs can lead to distress and dissatisfaction, with an inflexible view on their partnershipsCommon harmful “destiny beliefs”:Disagreements are destructive: believe couples should not argue, (but actually couples that argue last longer together)Mind Reading is essential: partner should know what you want without you needed to tell them.Partners cannot change: once things go wrong, they wont change.Sex should be perfect every time: sets up for a lot of disappointmentMen and Women are different: false, men and women very similarGreat Relationships just happen: false, relationships are a lot of workGrowth Beliefs: good relationships develop gradually as they work at surmounting challenges and overcoming obstacles, and with enough effort almost any relationship can succeedtend to respond to problems more constructivelymore optimistic, healthy and realisticSome beliefs are said to be dysfunctional, appearing to have averse effects on the quality of relationships, making it less likely the partners will be satisfied (ie. Destiny & Growth Beliefs)The Power of Perceptions: