HD 204 1nd Edition Lecture 13 Outline of Last Lecture I Relation Culture II Communication Pattern Rules III Examples IV Adapting Rules V Importance of Rules VI Beyond Communication Rules Outline of Current Lecture II Secrets in Family Life III Types of Secrets IV Functions of Secrets V Factors Influencing Effect Current Lecture Secrets in Family Life o Secrets includes deliberately withholding information from family members o Interactions are shaped by how information is shared o Secrets create reinforce boundaries o Can be damaging to family functioning Types of Secrets o Sweet fun surprise secret like the sex of a baby o Essential define promote necessary boundaries o Toxic maintain harmful patterns o Dangerous could put someone in emotional or physical harm Functions of Secrets o Bonding creates cohesiveness o Evaluation to help avoid negative judgment o Maintenance to protect family from stressors o Privacy no one else s business o Defense keeping secrets from outside to protect o Communication information is withheld because they don t talk o Protection to protect others from unpleasant information and yourself from the reaction of family o Uneven power dynamic used to manipulate and undermine those who don t know These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor s lecture GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes not as a substitute Factors Influencing Effect o Location who holds the secret one person holds the secret from everyone Between certain members within generations can be less damaging and across generation can be more damaging Across family boundaries and secrets that everyone knows o Timing Developmental period Transition period rights of passage
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