DECEPTION The Polygraph lie detector measures and records several physiological indices such as blood pressure pulse respiration while the subject answers a series of questions You need to lie to succeed in this world ex job interview relationships Lying is OK If you always told the truth friend would be mad at you a lot You would fail at a lot of important things if you did not lie Being a good nurse parent teacher lying There is no universal tell of deception nonverbally ex Bill Clinton 1 way to catch a liar when verbal story doesn t match a fact If you don t have facts you ll only be right 50 of the time Susan Smith woman who killed her daughter Leakage clue EX her smile was out of place Deception clue proof someone lying EX traffic light Good lie changing as few facts as possible from the truth 1st part cognitive encoding 2nd part emotions 2 kinds can be problematic fear and guilt So best liars are not afraid and don t feel guilty EX undercover drug guy Lying is a developed mental skill we are not born with it Theory of mind children don t understand that everyone s minds are different Ex coin in boxes If you were to succeed in never telling a lie you would fail at other things relationships Women are more likely to lie than men Baby face more believable looks vulnerable There is no universal guarantee that someone is lying clues that leak out no nonverbal used leakage of emotion Micro expressions 25 of a second unconsciously leaked emotional expression Occur when we deliberately have an emotion yet also when we don t mean to repression 2 types of lies Concealing covering something up don t want them to see what s going on Hiding something creating a story Falsifying false answers Make something up that s not true Clues someone is lying Leakage Clues when something we try to conceal leaks out slip of tongue also shows what s going on Deception Clues Proof that something is being lies about making up a story that isn t true 4 Sources of Leakage 1 Slips of the tongue something is said that reveals before something can t stop it EX Scott Peterson slipped was when his wife was missing 2 Tirades explosive confession a loss of control flood of information 3 Emblematic Slips Ekman says sometimes people make emblems with their hands when they don t mean to EX Obama scratch cheek 4 Micro expressions split second Subtle vs non subtle Lying is harder to do when we have to lie about our feelings Harder than lying about facts Lying about emotions often produces leakage clues More leaked emotion catch a liar by asking at emotions According to Ekman lies also fail because of the feelings we have about lying To catch a liar we want people to feel these 1 Detection Apprehension fear of getting caught 2 Deception guilt guilt about lying lying to rabbi is guilt 3 Duping Delight joy in lying surprise parties surprising my parents Detection Apprehension The liar will be more apprehensive when Target has reputation for being tough to fool Target starts out being suspicious Liar has a little practice and no record of success Liar is especially vulnerable to fear of being caught Stakes are high When punishment is at stake The punishment for being caught lying is high The target in no way benefits from the lie Deception guilt strongest when people are lying for self serving reasons Target is unwilling The deceit is totally selfish and target derives no benefit The deceit is unauthorized when you re not supposed to lie EX police investigation The liar and target share social values Harder to lie to a friend family Cop vs criminal easier to lie The target is personally acquainted with the liar You will feel less guilty when you don t know them You can catch the liar by emphasizing relationship with each other The more guilty deceit feels they are more likely to make a mistake Duping Delight increases when Target poses a challenge becomes more exciting ex great poker player The lie itself is challenging Some people get so excited they can t hold the lie in EX Santa Clause is opposite Others are watching and appreciate the lie Influencing ability to detect Listener s sex Women are a little better at catching liars Age Little kids old people such at catching liars Little kids don t understand lying is possible Don t get sarcasm Old people have trouble hearing seeing and have slower cognitive processing Familiarity with speaker harder to catch lie from someone we know well we trust them truth bias or halo effect We assume our mom wont lie Channel verbal nonverbal etc Better to catch a liar with verbal Most people don t know how to read micro expressions and over think nonverbal messages Untrained listener accuracy 53 Trained listener accuracy 65 Only 10 improvement Law enforcement and cops are not much more accurate than us Summary Don t let liar plan ahead catch them off guard look for mistake in encoding process Ask about their feelings feelings are hard to conceal Ask open ended questions with follow up detailed questions require more encoding Severe punishment for being caught lying The more the liar is afraid of being caught the more likely they will mess up Emphasize shared values Emphasize you don t want to be lied to guilt will go up Don t read too much into leakage nonverbals sweating look for deception clues mess up in story To be a good liar give short answers and little information SELF ROLES SHADOW Always consistent and comes from the outside Self Me I It is a product of interpersonal communication with other people Who we are is a product of social interaction There are social constraints on behavior Cant run around naked cant be full self Who we started out as little kids has been constrained by socialization We were told we were going to college Social Roles GENERALIZED guidelines for how to act and see one s self All students are students in their own way The way we were socialized taught me to be a girl Disney Cinderella Prom reinforce us to remember socialization of wedding Roles are learned They influence self concept if you play role well you like yourself If you don t fit into Disney model emotional stress your self concept gets damaged when you don t fit in We have multiple roles college student sorority basketball and scientist Roles are learned through the Social Learning Theory 4 Steps in child mind social learning process 1 Attention children begin to notice what adult do Positive consequences are a drive Ex dad gets respect from burning cross SO Little boy mimics 2 Retention