September 26,2013 Social Self-*William James on the self (1890)oDistinguished Harvard psychologist & philosopher oDoesn't like word 'personality', Greek derived, persona 'mask'; to limiting-Self, people don't have one but multiple3 types -Material self: everything of a physical nature about you [ie: hair, cloths, etc]-Physical things of that represents/tells of you-Even pets reveal a bit about a self-Spiritual Self: sum total of who you really are inside-Not a physical trait-Essence of who you are -The way we approach the world, morality, ideals, principles-Not necessarily a 'religious' sense-Social Selves: who you are when you are around other people-There is not just one social self-We have a different social self for every person we know-Little kids, not as concealing of their individual selves as adults are-i.e: situational selves -Nicknames: names for different social self -Sometimes professions are influenced by material/spiritual self-Development of the self-conceptoDoes selfhood develop from hereditary influences or from environmental ones?-Where does nature end & nurture begin/ at what ratio's-"Rouge Test": Infants will begin to recognize their image in a mirror at about 18-24 months-- the beginning of autonomyoSelf-Schema: organized sets of experiences & knowledge that guides our self-cognition 10-8-13Selfhood-Self-promotion [last left off]-Self-Promotion: boasting behavior (or extreme modesty) focused on personal accomplishments (goal-appear component)obasking in reflective glory (BIRG): act of playing up our associations with high status people or events [name dropping]ocutting off reflected failure: distancing ourselves from low-status people or evens-Self-Monitoring: tendency to regulate one's social behavior based on either social demands or internal factorsohigh self-monitors: adapt social behaviors to fit situations & public expectations-probably pay attention to facial expressions, eye contact, various social cues-highly analytical of social setting,olow self-monitors: ignore social demands & act based on personal values & beliefs -less interest in impression management otrends in self-monitoring research-HSM--> better at facial expressions, producing emotions on demand & “reading” social situations tend to be much more concerned with the physical appearance of their partners -LSM--> less likely to be persuaded by authority-Self-Disclosure: process of revealing intimate information about ourselves to others ostrangers on a train: tell s complete stranger intimate details ostages in the development of self-disclosure-stage 1: orientation--> primarily the exchange of superficial information [basics]-stage 2: exploratory exchange → reveal possibly, likes & dislikes [acquaintance stage]-stage 3: Affective exchange → [affect=emotion/mood based] transcends preferences & superficial information. And exchange of emotional depthsmajority of adult relationships-stage 4: stable exchange → literally tell someone anything without fear of retribution or consequence onorm of reciprocity: expectation that both sides should make intimate self-disclosuresoself-disclosure & relationship-s-d in early part of conversation vs S-D in later conversation --> strong influence on attraction 10-10-13 Attraction (chapter 10)-General EvaluationoParticular traits or behaviors that attract you to another individualoPropinquity: Geographical closeness or proximity that may enhance attraction-Has a role in long distant relationshipsoPhysical Attractiveness: -Names & Attraction --> certain names trigger something within an individualoCultural Shifts in perception of beauty: Hollywood, the norm changes in time periodoIdeal Norms of physical attractiveness-"ideal man": thin legs & waist, broad shoulders, small buttocks, 6" taller than mate-"ideal woman" medium sized breasts, medium sized buttock, 4.5" shorteroPredictability: -Attraction is often conservative --> predictability involves little risk-Boring if too predictable --> high level of predictability is good…but not to highoSimilarity: -Actual similarity: true degree of similarity between two people (beliefs, intelligence, physical attractiveness)-Perceived Similarity: degree of similarity that people believe exists between themPerceived similarity is usually more influential than actual similarityPeople with an unfavorable self-concept may be more attracted to dissimilar people -**essay: Matching hypothesis: tendency to seek one's [own] level of physical attractivenessMatched couples--> greater levels of satisfaction than mismatched couples Mismatched couples --> greater dissatisfaction & higher divorce rates -Attitude Similarity: Love & Affiliation-Social Development & Attachmento*Attachment Styles-We develop as adults attachment styles based on early developmental experiences-Secure Attachment: tend to be comfortable with commitment, interactions with interactions with other adults, look to have a long-term commitment-Avoidant Style: individual avoids commitment & long term commitment, comfortable in short-term relationships Childhood exp: wasn't strong secure attachment-Anxious/Ambivalent Style: (most rare) a little bit of both of the first two. Not that they avoid long term relationships, but they get anxious with commitment & end the relationship (don't avoid long-term, but don't feel comfortable with commitment) -Passionate Love-an intense & possibly unrealistic emotional attraction to another individualoSocialization: culture must teach concept of "passionate love"-Greek & Roman Society --> perception that marriage destroys a loving relationships-Origin of a passionate love = Middle Ages in Europe-17th c. England --> ideal marriage based on loveoPhysiological arouse: sympathetic nervous systemo**Types of Love: (John Lee) [not an essay but on exam] (theoretical, not based on data)-Three Primary Types of love [based off of color vision-primary, secondary, tertiary] Eros: romantic, passionate, loveLudus: game playing love --> "Coolidge effect"-Loves the chase but not the catchStorge: friendship love-Three Secondary Types of LovePragma: logical loveMania: possessive, dependent loveAgape: selfless, altruistic loveo**Triangular Theory of love (Sternburg) more scientific researched model of love -(First claim of fame: first critic of the IQ test, it only test a