FILM: MARRIED IN AMERICA Follows 9 recently married couples over the first years of their marriage • Can we see the themes of this course evident in their lives? • Can we predict what will happen? • What are their sources of strength + vulnerability • Which of the 5 theories is especially evident? Vanessa + Chris • Chris + Vanessa: both had negative models in father figures o Divorce o Challenges for own relationship from parents’ dissolved marriage • Satisfying sexual life – increase in happiness of general relationship satisfaction • Social ecological model: o Both come from very different backgrounds – source of tension for future? o But families are both supportive of relationship/marriage • Seem to have good communication • Social learning model: o They take time to pay attention to behavior – say ‘I love you’ every day • Financial independence of each Cheryl + Neal • Common interests in movies + books • Neal: in medical school o Takes up a lot of time + financial strain o Cheryl: financially independent in human resources – breadwinner • Conflict between Cheryl + Neal’s mother o Differences in religion o Neal kept Cheryl a secret from his mother at first • Neal expresses concerns in communication (hostile behavior at times) • Pressure from Cheryl to have kids soon after marriage – Neal agrees on kids • Divorce of Cheryl’s parents – couldn’t communicate o Carried over to Cheryl + Neal’s communication – going to therapy ! Cheryl used to yell a lot o Differences in religion (Judaism + Christianity) lead to problems • Cheryl expresses concerns about Neal not being around as much as she would like o Hoping it will get better after marriage " but usually not true• But: they are still together 5 years later o Neal got the residency in NYC (first choice), lives close to home, Cheryl could stay at work…etc. o ! LUCK MATTERS: relationship could have ended differently had external forces been different Third Couple • Only man works – only 1 source of income • Financial struggles • Man: had been married 3 times, woman: had been married twice • Both admit that both had brought baggage to relationship, but talked about it o Can deal with some of their baggage but not others • Man: was in prison • Woman: considers herself “fiercely independent” – avoidant attachment style? o Her parents’ marriage was full of abuse, alcohol, hostility o But swore herself she would not get into that o But her first marriage was physically abusive • Man: was on drugs + alcohol at a young age o Prison for rape – feels remorse but doesn’t feel he should pay for it the rest of his life ! Wife thinks he wouldn’t be capable of it now o Cheated on his previous wife – had never been faithful in previous marriages • Woman: had always been faithful but had been cheated on • Have some shared interests • Communication while he was in prison • Divorced within 2 years o Man went on disability " couldn’t make any money ! strain • ! external