137C – BOOK SUMMARY 4/30/12 5:59 PM Intimate relationship ≠ romantic relationship • Not all intimate relationships involve romance • Intimate relationship: more general/inclusive Intimate Relationships • Interdependent Relationships = Mutual influence 2 people have over one another – between 2 partners • Bidirectional: behavior of one partner influences response from other partner • Necessary but not sufficient condition for intimacy • Interdependence is part of any social relationship (with or without intimacy) • Personal Relationships: • Interdependent relationship in which the partners consider each other special + unique • Close Relationships Degree of closeness varies: • Close relationship: strong, frequent, diverse, interdependent that lasts over a considerable period of time •Intimate Relationships • Potential for sexual intimacy – experience of passion + expectation that this passion will be consummated • Sexual interaction without closeness falls outside definition of intimate relationship • Strong, sustained, mutual influence across a wide range of interactions, featuring at least the potential for sexual interaction • central core of emotional + sexual interdependence, but core will vary based on different cultural settings + historical period Love: does not occur in all intimate relationships + occurs outside of intimate relationships as well • 7 attributes of love: Desire, Idealization, Joy, Preoccupation, Proximity, Prioritizing, Caring • Passionate love: infatuation, preoccupation, sexual longing • Companionate love: warm feelings of attachment + mutual commitment Sexual desire + romantic love: biologically distinct systems – involvement of oxytocin • Oxytocin promotes calmness • Presence of partner reduces activity in fear-related brain structures ((amygdala + hypothalamus) Capacity for intimacy is universal, but cultural factors modify how we experience + express that capacity • Experience of love differs across cultureso North Americans: love = positive, Chinese: love = more negatively tinged • Love marriages are more satisfying than arranged marriages Selection Effect: People’s characteristics may make certain people more likely to marry • Thus fact that married people are happier is supported by the idea that happier people are more likely to marry rather than idea that marriages make people happier Protection Effects: Something about the experience of marriage itself produces protective benefits • Good relationships benefit mental + physical health (lower cytokine levels) • But: direction could also be opposite – happier people are more likely to get married Social Control Theory: • Helps explain link between intimate relationships + broader social impact of individual’s actions • Social relationships organize + regulate how individuals behave • Intimate relationships affect whether people follow or break laws/social norms – better adjusted THEORIES OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 1. The Evolutionary Perspective • Any feature of an organism can be adaptive: o Increase survival o Increase reproduction  Sexual selection: adaptation of a feature even if it has nothing to do with survival or even impedes survival • Psychological Mechanisms: Humans evolved specific features to solve reproductive challenges Physical: height, curviness…etc. Psychological: preferences, capacities, responses, strategies that characterize human species • Environment of evolutionary adaptiveness: We need to understand adaptive problems o Our brains are more or less the same as developed in the past o Many of our behavioral tendencies/preferences today may have been selected to adapt to an environment that no longer exists • Theory of parental investment: amount of energy/resources invested in raising offspring o Females: much higher investment (1 egg, 9 month gestation period, child rearing) Females should thus be the choosy sex (whom they mate with)  Emotional infidelity more severe: male may invest resources elsewhere o Males: low investment (many sperm  Physical infidelity worse: investing resources in offspring that may not be his own Cons of evolutionary theory: • Overlook variability due to culture/historical era • Neglect to consider more causes of behavior • Neglect to address development of relationships 2. Attachment Theory Personal history of individuals – nature of bonds we form with our primary caregivers in infancy + early childhood • Attachment figure: person who provides child with comfort + care o Survival depends on ability to maintain proximity to primary caregiver o Selection pressures favor behaviors that create + maintain closeness o Use attachment figure as source of info about the world  Novel stimulus → look towards mother: referencing • Attachment behavior system: set of behaviors + reactions that monitor/regulate the distance between themselves + their attachment figures • Secure base: safe environment where infant can learn to play or interact with others • Children develop internal working models of attachment: o Expectations about attachment figures (how likely to be available when needed) o Form beliefs about self + how worthy they are of others’ attention o Doubt in attachment figures ⇒ doubt in themselves o Largely stable throughout life (adult intimate relationships), but most likely to change during adolescence Types of Attachment: • Secure: responsive + available attachment figures • Avoidant: attachment figures were mostly unavailable/unresponsive • Anxious/ambivalent: inconsistent attachment figures (dismissive or intrusive) 4 Attachment Styles: • Secure: comfortable with intimacy + autonomy • Preoccupied: negative models of self + positive models of others (obsess about partner) • Dismissive: positive models of self + negative models of others • Fearful: negative models of self + negative models of otherso Long for social contact but withdraw in protection of themselves → People vary continuously along these dimensions, no clear cut categories Cons of Attachment Theory: • Limited explanation of how a specific relationship develops between 2 people 3. Social Exchange Theory How individuals make decisions + evaluate their relationships in the present moment • People try to maximize their rewards and minimize costs o Rewards: material or