HD 204 2nd EditionExam # 1 Study Guide Lectures: 8 - 12Lecture 8 (September 17)I. Relational Maintenance Strategiesa. What is relational maintenance?- “Everyday stuff” that involves keeping a relationship- In existence- In a state of connectedness- In satisfactory condition- In repairb. Maintenance Strategies- Positivity- Openness- Assurance- Social Networks- Sharing Tasksc. Gottman’s Magic Ratio- The ratio of positive to negative interactions needs to be: 5:1 in times of conflict 20:1 in times of peaced. Maintenance in other family relationships- Children and parents- Sibling relationships- Long-distance partnerships- Mediated messages vs. Face to face- Divorce and remarriagee. Relational maintenance strategies- Confirming messages- Recognition- Dialogue- Acceptance- Rejecting messages- Disconfirming messages- Conforming?II. Relational Currenciesa. Communication behaviors that carry meaningb. Ways of showing caring, love and kindnessc. Symbolic exchange processd. Family of origin influencee. Type of currencies- Listening- Touch- Sexuality- Money- Favors- Service- Giving Time- Access rightsf. Meanings and currencies- Satisfaction is tied to one’s perception of currency- Couples with similar affection exchange behaviors have higher levels of relationship satisfactiong. Gottman’s spin on currencies- Emotional bank accountIII. Bidsa. Bids: The way a person expresses what they need in that momentb. Examples: - “Do you like chocolate milkshakes?”- A hug- “You never think to call”- “Hey…”- A sighc. Responding to bids- Turning towards- Noticing big and responding to it- Turning away- Not noticing bid- Not usually mean spirited but negative effect- Turning against- Refusing bidIV. Ritualsa. Respected behaviors or events that involve- Symbolism- Emotion- Transformation- Preparationb. Serve ongoing maintenance and relational functions in the familyc. Development- As part of cultural traditions- Families develop create or invent new onesd. Goals and functions- Healthy emotional ties- Membership changes- Healing- Identifying definition/redefinition - Rites of passage - Express beliefs- Deal with contradictionse. Intergenerational Rituals- Grandparents/ grandchildren rituals- Parent/ child rituals- Blended familyf. Managing rituals- Under rutilization- Over rutilization- don’t want to get rid of ritual- Distinctiveness- Balance in stability and changeLecture 9 (September 19)I. Intimacya. What is intimacy?- Intimacy involves….- A close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship- A detailed and deep knowledge and understanding from closepersonal experiences- Marital intimacy also includes sexual relationsb. Development of intimacy- Limits of intimacy reflect how families manage- Dialectical tensions- Boundaries- Biosocial issues- Need for and comfort with intimate ties change over time- Altman and Taylor’s Social Penetration Model- Orientation  Exploratory Effective Exchange  Affective Exchange  Stability Orientation: first impressions Exploratory Effective Exchange: acquaintance, no commitment Affective Exchange: Close friendships, courtship Stability: Commitment- Limitation: not all family relationships are formed voluntarilyc. Interaction that promote intimacy involve:- Confirmation- Commitment- Self-disclosure- Sexual communication- ForgivenessII. Commitmenta. Degree to which we are willing to work for the continuation of the relationshipb. Internally and externally, imposed constraints- Personal dedication- Ought-to and have-to stay togetherc. Relationship turning points (points where relationship either goes to a higher level of intimacy or it dissolves)- Direct efforts- Indirect Efforts- Secret testsIII. Self-disclosurea. Revealing information about oneself involves taking a riskb. Trust in partner is foundation of self-disclosurec. Results in intimacy when partner responds with validation, understanding, empathyd. Dimensions of Disclosure- Breadth: Superficial information shared with many people and early in the relationship (outside of onion)- Depth: Significant information shared with few people and later in the relationship (core of onion)e. Partner relationships- Responsiveness of partner promotes intimacy- Disclosure of negative feelings often met with rejecting or disconfirming messages- Women more likely to disclosef. Curvilinear relationship of disclosure and satisfaction- Too much disclosure does not allow for individualityg. Parent- child relationships- Which parents are likely to receive self disclosure?- Mothers- Those perceived as warm/ nurturing- Cohesion and adaptability- Nature of topich. When is self-disclosure likely to occur?- Debriefing conversations- Developmental or unpredictable stresses- Intimation sequencesIV. Intimacy and Sex in partner relationshipsa. Intimacy   sexual relationshipsb. Sex is both a form of communication and a reflection of communicationc. Sexuality and behavior reflect gender socializationd. Sexual scripts- Expectations for how to behave sexually- Who: age (who is acceptable in your mind? Do they have to be the same race? Same sex?)- What: Range of behaviors that are acceptable- When: in front of parents vs. when out- Where: Where you are- Why: Lot of variations for whye. Gender differences:- Focus on sexual experience:- Men: sexual attraction and desire- Women: Romance and Love- Sexual activity is tied to:- Men: Masculinity- Women: Reproduction and family life- Role during sexual experience:- Men: Initiator, director, lead actor- Women: Passive recipient of pleasure- Appropriate level of sexual experience and expertise:- Men: High- Women: Lowf. Sex and Partner Relationships- Communication in the bedroom starts in other rooms- Ability to talk about sexual relationship linked to satisfaction- Couples in long-term sexual relationships may be more satisfied- Sexual relationships over the life cycleV. Parent- child communication about sexa. Mother discuss sex more with children, especially with daughtersb. Girls who talk with their mom about sex are:- More likely to have conservative sexual values- Less likely to have engaged in sexual activity- More likely to use condoms consistentlyc. Some parents still don’t want to discuss sex even when their teens do- Why is this?d. Some parents want to discuss sex with their children, but don’t know how toe. Not talking about sex