- No outside Support- Regular emotional outburstsb. Conversation OrientationAddress conflictSeek outside supportFrequently express negative feelingsHD 204 2nd EditionExam # 3 Study Guide Lectures: 12 - 16Lecture 12 (October 22)I. Conflict and Family Communication Patternsa. Conformity OrientationAvoid Conflict- No outside Support- Regular emotional outburstsb. Conversation Orientation- Address conflict- Seek outside support- Frequently express negative feelings II. Gottman’s Conflict Typesa. Stable couples- Validating- Violate- Conflict Avoidingb. Unstable Couples- Hostile/ engaged- Hostile/ disengagedIII. Gottman’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypsea. Criticism:- “You always ignore me” attacking the flaws directlyb. Contempt:- Delivering a message by being superior, direct insult, name calling,“I am a better parent than you”, insulting labelc. Defensiveness:- “it’s not my problem, it’s your problem” counter attackd. Stonewalling:- Withdrawal, attempt to calmIV. Warning Signsa. Things become more negative than positive – 20x more positive than negative thingsV. Unsolvable Conflict: Solvable vs. Unsolvablea. Unresolved conflict can lead to Psychological/ physical separationb. Hopelessnessc. Violenced. Tension throughout family systemVI. Destructive Conflicta. Covert conflict- Not really visible, hiddenb. Overt conflict- Visible, yelling, fightingc. Relies on one of the following communication strategies- Denial- Disqualification- Displacement- Disengagement- Pseudomutualityd. Overt Destructive Conflict- Use of verbal and physical aggression- Goal is compliance- Linked to issues of power- Becomes a pattern- Childrene. Partner Destructive Conflict- Women make up vast majority of reported cases- Men experience barriers to reportingf. Common Couple Violence- Abusive- Violent- Aggressive- Combativeg. Couple violence- Negative Strategies- Verbal aggression Threats, hate terms, gunny sacking, non verbal messages- Physical Violence 1 and 6 marriagesh. Mothers are more likely to abuse children than fathers- Abuse parents tend to: value punishment more, rate their childrenas more difficult, use inconsistent discipline- Effects: psychological, physical and relationalLecture 13 (October 29)I. Domestic Violencea. One of the most common crimesb. 75% of adult victims are womenc. Approximately 1 in 4 women will be victimized by domestic violenced. 1 in 3 female murder victims is killed by her husband or significant otherII. The Role of power and controla. Perpetrators assert power over victims by using emotional, psychological, physical, economic and sexual abuseIII. Barriers to Leavinga. Lack of resources- May not be working in the paid labor force- May have no property that is solely theirs- May lack access to cash or bank accounts- Fear of losing children and joint assets- May face a steep decline in living standards- Geographic and/or emotional isolationb. Institutional Responses- Shelter’s may be full- There are 13 times more animal shelters than shelters for people- Clergy and counselors may be trained to see the ultimate goal as saving a marriage, not ending the violence- Attitude that domestic violence is a “family matter” - Reluctance to prosecute and light sentences- Protection orders are only paperc. Cultural Mythologies- Belief that divorce is not an alternative- Belief that a single parent family is unhealthy- Shame/ “bad choices”- The attitude that it only takes “strength” to leave an abusive situation- Rationalizing abuser’s behavior by blaming stress, alcohol, problems at work or school, unemployment…- May fulfill the victim’s dreams of romantic love- May believe the abuser is basically a “good person”- Belief that one can cause abusive behavior- 75% of male abusee’s don’t become abusers themselvesLecture 14 (November 5)I. Family Stressa. Universal experience found in familiesb. Stress can emerge:- As a result of common life and family life events- Example: Having a child- As a result of unexpected events- Example: Death of a child- When common life events happen at unexpected time- Example: Teenage daughter having a childII. Developmental Perspectivea. Communication behaviors adapt over time- Individual changes- Relational changesb. Marker events- Examples: Driver’s license, moving out, marriage, divorce, first grandchildc. Response to change depends on pre-existing:- Organizational structureIII. Life-Course Perspectivea. Time- Individual- Generational- Historicalb. Diversity- On time vs. off time- Less emphasis on linear sequence of life transitionsIV. Stressorsa. Vertical Stressors (Hand we’re dealt when we’re born)- Society- Community- Extended Family- Immediate Family- Individualb. Horizontal Stressors (move with time)- Developmental- Unpredictable- HistoricalV. Stages of Life Cycle and Stress Starts (years)1. Single Adulthood- Tasks:o Establishing yourself in the work world and creatingfinancial independenceo Developing intimate relationships- Success requireso Tolerance of separateness and independenceo Tolerance of differentness and ambiguity in young adult’s career patho Tolerance of emotional attachments outside immediate family - Variationso Boomerang generationso SESo Ethnicity2. Coupling/ marriage- Taskso Separating further from the families-of-origino Negotiating roles, rules and relationshipso Creating shared meaningso Investing in a new relationship- Couples must resolve 3 challenges for later satisfactiono Commitmento Powero Closeness- Variationo Culture~ parent-child bond~ intercultural coupleso Timing of childbearingo Some never marry3. Child bearing years- Three stages1. Transition to parenthoodo Tasks~ Reorganizing marital relationship~ Relationship satisfaction decrease~ Conflict opportunities increase~ Renegotiate roles Often become more traditional~ Coordinate transmission of culture~ Manage Intergenerational connectionso Factors Related to success~ Desire o be a parent~ How prepared they are for the role~ Realistic Expectations~ Social Supporto Variations~ Unmarried mothers~ Adoption~ Same- sex parents~ No- kids2. Families with small children (preschoolers)o Defining a parental role identityo The child’s evolving identity~ Parents may expect different things of their children~ Child may not be who the parent wants them to beo Siblingso Extended Family3. Families with school age childreno Common issues~ Child has new influences from outside world~ Managing