Creative Group Presentation Topic Managing Dialectical Tensions Separation Selection Neutralization Activity Kahoot Criteria 4 5min video o Both verbal and nonverbal elements 8 10min activity 6 sources o Textbook doesn t count o APA Style Content Communication concepts Define and clearly identify Examples to tie to real world experiences Include relevant information from outside sources Video Facts 1 Relational Culture Each relationship develops features that distinguish it from all other relationships Explains why the relationship you have with one friends is completely different from the relationship you have with another Dynamic continuous change and growth Reciprocal If a relationship s culture includes absolute honestly both partners will adhere to that The culture of honesty that they have created dictates their behavior The realities we create lay out the possibilities and impose the limits on how we behave and who we become KEY The relational cultures we develop in each relationship dictate how we behave Therefore when a dialectical tension arises in a relationship the relational culture established influences the way the individuals handle the tension 2 How do relational partners negotiate dialectical tensions Common Misunderstanding Partners do not have to choose one end of a dialectical tension over the other o RDT stresses that both ends of each dialectical tension coexist in relationships and are interdependent meaning you cannot have one without the other 3 Examples Moving away to go to school has allowed you to be more independent BUT at the same time you want to maintain a connection with your family You enjoy the novelty of your university experience and are excited about all of the changed occurring in your life BUT you also desire the familiarity and predictability of your relationship with you family You want to tell your parents about your college life BUT you don t want to describe every detail of your week to them 4 Strategies for Handling Dialectical Tensions In a study involving undergraduate students in premarital romantic relationships Leslie Baxter 1990 discovered four basic methods of handling dialectical tensions o Selection Satisfying one of the two dialectical needs but denying the other like choosing to pursue connectedness at the expense of autonomy o Separation Satisfying both dialectical needs but in separate areas of life like choosing to pursue connectedness on the weekends but autonomy during the week o Neutralization Compromising so that both dialectical needs are met to some degree but not fully like choosing the middle ground between openness and closedness by agreeing to discuss everything but not being completely open when you do o Reframing Transforming the two needs of a dialectical tension so they are no longer experienced as opposites like making novelty and predictability compatible by establishing a firm rule that every Saturday night you will do something you have never done before 5 General Selection was the least satisfying strategy Reframing on the other hand was associated with relationship satisfaction but was rarely used This is due to reframing requiring real communication creativity and effort 6 Notes Online Content Relational Dialect Theory is that everyone engages in communication in their relationships and during these interactions we experience different tensions in the relationship o Where what we personally want or need might be in conflict for what the relationship wants or needs o So Dialectical theory is all about the ways we use or manage dialectical tensions in order to establish a culture for the relationship Managing Dialectical Tensions Methods 4 o Method One Selection Selection is where you pick one dialectical tension or the other So for example you would pick either autonomy where you re always going to do your own thing or connection you re always going to do what your relationship partner wants to do So you re satisfying one of the two dialectical needs and totally denying the other need The challenge with selection is in some relationships you can choose selection and you finally reach a point where you just can t ignore the tension any longer So this isn t a long term solution o Method Two Separation Separation is where you look at the dialectical tension and you try to find ways to separate managing that tension into different areas of your life So here s a great example of again autonomy versus connection you need to get your homework done you need to go to work you need to do all these things in order to live your life and your relationship partner also wants to spend time with you and have a connection So one of the things you could do here is that you might decide during the week you re going to work and you re going to go to school But you ve set aside Saturdays and Saturdays are the days that you spend with your boyfriend or girlfriend where you have your connection So separation is about looking at the different areas in your life and finding ways to manage the tensions by blocking off time to balance things like autonomy and connection o Method Three Neutralization Neutralization is also referred to as compromise Neutralization is all about compromising so that some needs are met to some degree but it s not completely resolved The tensions still exist and the intention is the inherent part of the relationship For example you may decide as your relationship is developing to talk about past relationships but in very general terms So you talk about the past relationships that your partner boyfriend or girlfriend wants to talk about but you don t give a lot of details So you re being somewhat open but not completely open and that would be an example of compromise or neutralization o Method Four Reframing Reframing is where we actually transform your needs of the dialectical tension so there are no longer opposites So that example that I gave you of novelty versus predictability where you have this idea of where you want to have consistency of a regular date night but you agree in order to have novelty you always vary what to do on date night and so you always want to try out something new but you do it the same night together consistently The Idea of making the dialectical tension kind of go away by not making them opposites and finding balance in between them