3Listening and Responding to Others CMN 396 Org Com Diversity Listening It is at least as important as talking Few of us devote as much energy to listening as we do to talking Average person spends 45 55 of waking time listening to others The Listening Process Hearing is the process sensing sound waves that strike the eardrum causing vibrations that are transmitted to the brain physiological Listening when brain reconstructs electrochemical impulses into a representation process attempting to understand respond to the ideas opinions feelings and values of the persons you are communicating with Several step process Mindfulness Focusing on what is happening in the moment We listen at a faster rate than we talk It increases our understanding It promotes more complete communication by others Physically Receiving Communication We might receive it by hearing o sounds o interpreting nonverbal behaviors o reading lips o ASL Selecting and Organizing Communication What we attend to depends on o physiological influences o expectations o cognitive structures o social roles o membership in cultures social communities Interpreting Communication We put together all that we have selected and organized to make sense of communication Depends on your ability to understand others on their terms Responding Includes o expressing interest o asking questions o voicing our own ideas on a topic o communicating attentiveness Remembering We forget a lot of what we hear After eight hours we recall only about 35 of our interpretations of the message We selectively focus our attention to what is important Obstacles to Effective Listening Situational obstacles incomprehensibility message overload message complexity environmental distractions Obstacles to Effective Listening Internal obstacles preoccupation prejudgments lack of effort reacting to emotionally loaded language not recognizing diverse listening styles Forms of Ineffective Listening Pseudolistening Monopolizing Selective listening Defensive listening Ambushing Literal listening Digital Media and Listening Online communication requires listening Increasing engagement with digital media can be an obstacle to effective listening Critical thinking needs to be exercised when communicating online Informational and Critical Listening Gain and understand information Make judgments about people and ideas Be mindful Control obstacles Ask questions Use aids to recall Organize information Relationship Listening Feelings and relationships between communicators Be mindful Suspend judgment Strive to understand the other s perspective Minimal encouragers Paraphrasing Express Support Develop Skills for Other Listening Goals Listening for Pleasure Do not need to concentrate on organizing and remembering as much requires mindfulness hearing and interpretation Listening to Discriminate mindfulness and keen hearing abilities are skills that assist listening to discriminate Summary Complex demanding process of listening Hearing vs listening Numerous obstacles prevent us from being effective listeners Listening well takes commitment skill Obstacles jeopardize effective listening Ineffective listening prevents us from being fully engaged in communication There are different purposes for listening Self Disclosure Communication andPersonal Identity Understanding the Self The self is an ever changing system of perspectives is formed and sustained in communication with others and ourselves Aspects of Personal Identity Many Consists of perspectives The self is dynamic Perspectives on the self are a system Communication is a critically important influence on us The Self is Multidimensional facets to the self physical emotional cognitive George Herbert Mead society significant individuals Society Shapes the Self Race Gender Sexual Orientation Socioeconomic Class The Self Arises in Communication with Others Reflected appraisal Direct Definition Self fulfilling prophecies Social Comparison Self disclosure Communication withFamily Members Direct Definition Life Scripts Attachment Styles secure dismissive anxious Ambivalent fearful Self Concept vs Self Esteem Self Concept Each person s own subjective view or image of him or herself as a person Self Esteem is our positive or negative orientations toward ourselves Self Disclosure Information you reveal about yourself to others that they are unlikely to find out from other sources Deliberate not something that slips Significant beyond I like Fudge Information which would not be known by others Flooded disclosures when someone get it all out Under disclosures reveal far less than others want to know Premature Disclosures someone tries to be impressive so they blast our information Self Disclosure Information you reveal about yourself to others that they are unlikely to find out from other sources Deliberate not something that slips Significant beyond I like Fudge Information which would not be known by others Self Disclosure Honesty True self disclosure has to be honest However only telling partial information about what is true to paint an incomplete picture of yourself Breadth Topics we choose to discuss disclose with others Depth The importance and relevance of information A self disclosing statement is generally regarded as being personal containing relatively deep rather than surface information However everyone s definition of deep is different Self Disclosure Valence the extent to which a message has good or bad implications Represents whether a disclosure casts the disclosing person in positive or negative light Reciprocity the degree to which the communication match each other s levels of disclosure Relevance Varies in how closely related the information disclosed is to the topic being discusse Johari Window Four Panes Created by Joe Luft Harry Ingham 1969 open blind hidden unknown Johari Window Open Area of information that both you and the other person are aware of Information that you don t mind admitting about yourself Reveals the amount of risk that you take in a relationship Blind Area of information that you are unaware but others know You learn this through feedback Hidden Area of information that you are aware but others are not Others learn this through this process Unknown Area of information that you and others are not aware of Developing stage of Johari Window Uncertainty Reduction Theory Very high during initial encounters We find uncertainty uncomfortable indirect and direct strategies to reduce it Self