MARRIAGE PRINCIPLESMarriage Definition:A specific family subsystem comprised of two adults from two families of origin who have bonded together to form what they intend to be a stable and long-term cohabiting relationship. Includes:"Traditional marriages" – heterosexual; religious or civil institution.Experimental marriages:Voluntary marriages – based on love, common law.Trial marriages – live together and may marry.Long-term cohabitation – never plan to marry.Same-sex couplesRelationship QualitySatisfaction – an individual's subjective evaluation of the marriage; the degree to which one perceives their needs to be met.Happiness – how a person feels about his/her marriage; emotional state.Adjustment – how a person views the relationship with their partner; communication, goals.Stability – how likely a couple is to divorce.5 Marriage Types 1. Conflict-Habituated RelationshipConstant and reoccurring arguments.Main characteristics: tension and unresolved conflict; frequent fighting.Marriage continues – force of habit or dependency.20 – 30% of long term marriages.Young couples are more likely to end the relationship than older.2. Devitalized RelationshipLiving separate lives, committed to the institution of marriage, not each other.Marriage was once vital, but is no longer; take one another for granted.Marriage continues – shared duties and absence of conflict– stagnation.Common; 1/3 of long term marriages.Susceptible to divorce – passion/connection did once exist.3. Passive-Congenial RelationshipFriends but living separate lives, spend more time apart; no tension or conflict.Similar to devitalized except: never vital romance, less likely to be disillusioned.Emphasis on commonality and practicality.Divorce risk less than previous two.4. Vital RelationshipBest friends, spend much time together, but still individuals – “ideal marriage”Main characteristics: sharing and togethernessValue relationshipResolve conflictClose to societal ideal of marriage1/3 of couples last over 10 yearsDivorce risk increases if vitality is lost5. Total RelationshipShare everything, same job, sole friend, and no separatenessSimilar to vital except: More sharing at intellectual and psychological levelsJoint discussions and physical expressionsShared professional and personal interestsHigh standardsRare in couples; divorce is less likelyMaintenance Strategies (Pick Only Apple Strawb. Slices Just to Maintain)1. PositivityBeing cheerful and upbeat, not criticizing the partner.2. OpennessDirectly discussing the nature of the relationship; reciprocal exchange – vulnerability.3. AssurancesStressing one's commitment and love.4. Social networksAttempt to involve friends and family in various activities. 5. Sharing tasksEqual investment in commitments, household obligations.6. Joint activities 7. Talk – depth vs. breadth8. Mediated Communication – not face-to-face; electronic means, social media.9. Avoidance 10. Antisocial11. Affection12. Focus on selfMARRIAGE PRINCIPLES Marriage Definition:- A specific family subsystem comprised of two adults from two families of origin who have bonded together to form what they intend to be a stable and long-term cohabiting relationship.  Includes:- "Traditional marriages" – heterosexual; religious or civil institution.- Experimental marriages:o Voluntary marriages – based on love, common law.o Trial marriages – live together and may marry.o Long-term cohabitation – never plan to marry.o Same-sex couples  Relationship Quality- Satisfaction – an individual's subjective evaluation of the marriage; the degree to which one perceives their needs to be met.- Happiness – how a person feels about his/her marriage; emotional state.- Adjustment – how a person views the relationship with their partner; communication, goals.- Stability – how likely a couple is to divorce. 5 Marriage Types 1. Conflict-Habituated Relationship- Constant and reoccurring arguments.- Main characteristics: tension and unresolved conflict; frequent fighting.- Marriage continues – force of habit or dependency.- 20 – 30% of long term marriages.- Young couples are more likely to end the relationship than older.2. Devitalized Relationship- Living separate lives, committed to the institution of marriage, not each other.- Marriage was once vital, but is no longer; take one another for granted.- Marriage continues – shared duties and absence of conflict– stagnation.- Common; 1/3 of long term marriages.- Susceptible to divorce – passion/connection did once exist.3. Passive-Congenial Relationship- Friends but living separate lives, spend more time apart; no tension or conflict.- Similar to devitalized except: never vital romance, less likely to be disillusioned.- Emphasis on commonality and practicality.- Divorce risk less than previous two.4. Vital Relationship- Best friends, spend much time together, but still individuals – “ideal marriage”- Main characteristics: sharing and togetherness- Value relationship- Resolve conflict- Close to societal ideal of marriage- 1/3 of couples last over 10 years- Divorce risk increases if vitality is lost5. Total Relationship- Share everything, same job, sole friend, and no separateness- Similar to vital except: More sharing at intellectual and psychological levels- Joint discussions and physical expressions- Shared professional and personal interests- High standards- Rare in couples; divorce is less likely Maintenance Strategies (Pick Only Apple Strawb. Slices Just to Maintain)1. Positivity- Being cheerful and upbeat, not criticizing the partner.2. Openness- Directly discussing the nature of the relationship; reciprocal exchange – vulnerability.3. Assurances- Stressing one's commitment and love.4. Social networks- Attempt to involve friends and family in various activities. 5. Sharing tasks- Equal investment in commitments, household obligations.6. Joint activities 7. Talk – depth vs. breadth 8. Mediated Communication – not face-to-face; electronic means, social media.9. Avoidance 10. Antisocial11. Affection12. Focus on self Tasks - (stage = transition to marriage)1. Establishing an identity as a married coupleo Establishing marital and family themeso Negotiation of marital roleso Evolving a congruence of conjugal identities2. Defining marital boundarieso Regulating distances with family and friendso Regulating distances within the new marriage3. Managing the householdo Evolving