Slide 1The Gender of Friendship and DatingThe Trouble with FriendshipDefining friendshipGender and FriendshipsGender Differences in FriendshipGender Differences in FriendshipTheoretical Perspective on Friendship DifferencesTheoretical Perspective on Friendship DifferencesConstraints on FriendshipGender Similarities in FriendshipGender and FriendshipFriendship in a Global PerspectiveGay Men and FriendshipThe Rules of AttractionDatingGoing Steady to Hooking UpMarriage and Collectivist CulturesThe Gender of LoveFeminization of loveThe Gender of LoveThe Gender of LoveBut What Is This “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”?Studying LoveStudying LoveLove and AttachmentAttachment theory of loveWheel Theory of LoveReiss’s Wheel Theory of LoveHOW DOES GENDER IMPACT THE PEOPLE YOU SPEND YOUR TIME WITH?Chapter SixQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsThe Gender of Friendship and DatingQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsThis chapter examines significant relationships outside of the nuclear familyNetworks of friends and kin often overlapKin refers to the people to whom an individual is related either by actual blood or through symbolic tiesSome societies hold friends as the highest form of loveFriendships have two unique features: Choice and obligationThe Trouble with FriendshipQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsSociological research has not focused on friendships, (Mis)understanding of friendships as purely a personal choice Difficulty in defining who are friendsHowever, the people we call friends and our types of friendships are often constrained by social structures (gender, class, race)Defining friendship Questioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsIt is characterized as voluntary and altruisticIt involves sentiment and sociability A common definition of friendship in sociological literature is “a voluntary, informal, and personal relationship” (Allan, 1990, p. 17), Many friendships may form in formal settings, such as the workplace, and some friendships exist only within the context of those settings.It can be a relationship between status equals, two people who are on roughly the same social level.Gender and FriendshipsQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsWho’s better at friendship, women or men? Feminization of friendshipAnglo-European societies emphasize intimacy, trust, caring, and nurturing – all associated with femininityHistorically, the hierarchy was reversed and male friendships were seen as the modelCharacteristics were bravery, loyalty, duty, heroismMen’s lives were more public and therefore seen as more important than women’s private sphere pursuitsGender Differences in FriendshipThere are similarities in what both men and women desire from friends: intimacy, acceptance, trust, helpThe difference lies in the type of friendshipWomen’s friendships tend to be “_____Intimate confidante with whom to share feelingsMen’s are more “____________”Someone with whom to share activities and interestsThe differences between self-disclosure in friendshipMen are less likely to disclose intimate information about themselves to their friends than are womenGender Differences in FriendshipQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsThe differences between self-disclosure in friendshipMen are less likely to disclose intimate information about themselves to their friends Men are not as good at verbal intimacy, however their intimacy involves nonverbal cues and expressionsWomen are more uncomfortable when their friendships lack intimate self-disclosure women are more comfortable with physical affection with their friends and feel they are better able to understand their friends through nonverbal communicationTheoretical Perspective on Friendship DifferencesSocialization is the primary explanation used to explain differences between men’s and women’s friendships. Lillian Rubin, psychoanalytic theoristWomen’s first relationship is with a woman (mother), whose behavior girls can emulate Men are expected to separate from their mother, create stronger ego boundaries in menHegemonic masculinity sets a certain bar that men must meet to prove their masculinityDefines masculinity as competitive and rationalRubin’s work found that men commonly associated male friendship with homosexualityTheoretical Perspective on Friendship DifferencesQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsSocial network theoryMen and women develop different types of friendships because of the social structure of their livesGender is a key structural influence on the number, quality, and significance of friendshipsConstraints on FriendshipQuestioning Gender: A Sociological Exploration 2e by Robyn Ryle © 2015 SAGE PublicationsGeography, work, race, class and gender all dictate with whom we can become friendsSocial segregation is the separation of a realm of social life into different groups on the basis of a given categoryResidential segregation is dictated by where one lives, especially by race and classSegregation in work shows that men have more access to networks; women tend to have smaller networksGender Similarities in FriendshipSocial network theory of gender claims that gender is a residual effect of the network in which a person is embeddedWomen's friendships are determined by whether they work and their socioeconomic class, not just their genderSingle men tend to be more involved with their male friends than are married menMarried men disclose less to their friends than their single counterparts When researching longer-lasting friendships, differences between men and women disappearThe differences we see in research may be affected by methods used (self-reports of research subjects)Gender and FriendshipResearch by Karen Walker: Examines ongoing construction of gender and friendship in everyday lifeTries to understand cultural expectations of friendshipResults??25% of women in her study reported not sharing information with their friendsWalker concludes that social class