HD 204 1st Edition Lecture 13 Outline of Last Lecture I Decision Making II Power Outline of Current Lecture I Conflict and Family Communication Patterns II Gottman s Conflict Types III Gottman s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse IV Warning Signs V Unsolvable Conflict VI Destructive Conflict Current Lecture I Conflict and Family Communication Patterns a Conformity OrientationAvoid Conflict No outside Support Regular emotional outbursts b Conversation Orientation Address conflict Seek outside support Frequently express negative feelings II Gottman s Conflict Types a Stable couples Validating Violate Conflict Avoiding b Unstable Couples Hostile engaged Hostile disengaged These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor s lecture GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes not as a substitute III Gottman s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse a Criticism You always ignore me attacking the flaws directly Delivering a message by being superior direct insult name calling I am a better parent than you insulting label b Contempt c Defensiveness it s not my problem it s your problem counter attack d Stonewalling IV Withdrawal attempt to calm Warning Signs a Things become more negative than positive 20x more positive than negative things V Unsolvable Conflict Solvable vs Unsolvable a Unresolved conflict can lead to Psychological physical separation b Hopelessness c Violence d Tension throughout family system VI Destructive Conflict a Covert conflict Not really visible hidden b Overt conflict Visible yelling fighting c Relies on one of the following communication strategies Denial Disqualification Displacement Disengagement Pseudomutuality d Overt Destructive Conflict Use of verbal and physical aggression Goal is compliance Linked to issues of power Becomes a pattern Children e Partner Destructive Conflict f Women make up vast majority of reported cases Men experience barriers to reporting Common Couple Violence Abusive Violent Aggressive Combative g Couple violence Negative Strategies Verbal aggression Threats hate terms gunny sacking non verbal messages Physical Violence 1 and 6 marriages h Mothers are more likely to abuse children than fathers Abuse parents tend to value punishment more rate their children as more difficult use inconsistent discipline Effects psychological physical and relational