Augustina AsiaforBiology LabPeer Review of Carb CutterThis article almost fulfills all the draft rubric points. It could have provided some quotes or summarized statements from outside information sources. However, the statistical statement inthe first paragraph caught my attention, “More than one-third of adults in the U.S are obese…” The title was the necessary length, with the question very persuasive. The way you describe how the study was conducted helped me understand what the purpose of the experiment. The methodswas clear and concise, “Researchers prepared 12 test tubes, six including solutions with Carb Cutter, starch amylase…” The results of the study could have been more descriptive and elaborative. The graph correctly showed the starch concentration over time, and I could identify how you formed the conclusion from the evidence, “The study found that the group taking Carb Cutter lost almost twice as much weight”. A paragraph formed article could have improved the essay. The way each sentence was divided sometimes disorganized my reading. The statements were very brief and required. It was a good Red and Black article becausethere was no unnecessary information included on it. Anyone individual could understand and acquire main points of the study presented. There are some ways the essay could be improved. To further support your conclusion, you could have mentioned similar pills to Carb Cutter that donot have prominent evidence of weight loss. Also there could have been a better logical flow of material. A few times, it felt like the sentences were separate from the previous statements. For example the sentence “Each minute for 12 minutes, the starch concentration levels were calculated” felt secluded from the previous statement about the method of the experiment. You could have added a transitional phrase to lead the reader.Based on your article, I would purchase Carb Cutter. You supported your reason with concrete evidence and it was persuasive enough to sway me into your direction. For examplewhen you added “by simply stopping the digestion of starch, the U.S may no longer have such high levels of obesity”, I was convinced by your proof. The article was not perfect due to few details and outside information. However, it provided me with the required material to understand the study and the purpose of the results related to Carb
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