The Need to BelongHumans have a need to be a part of relationshipsRomantic PartnersFamilyFriendsEvolutionary Basis: belonging helps us and our offpsring to surviveThe need is Universal: Occurs in members of cultures around the world.About 1 in 4 Americans reports feeling very lonely in the past 2 weeksSituational loneliness occurs due to life changes.Chronic loneliness occurs for about 10% of Americans regardless of the situation.Mortality rates higher for divorced, unmarried, and widowed individuals.Crime rates higher for single and divorced individuals.Admissions to hospital for psychological problems anywhere from 3 – 23 times higher for divorced than married individuals.Life satisfaction for highly intelligent & successful individuals when they are 35 years old: higher for the married & w/ kids.Costs of social rejection:In humans, people who feel more socially isolated report higher levels of chronic pain, ailments, and pain during childbirth.Feeling socially rejected causes feelings of shame and distress.Brain imaging studies show that areas of the brain related to processing pain, anterior cingulate, become active after social rejection feedback.Social rejection may reduce ability to regulate behavior.May lose control of impulses, have more difficulty concentrating, become more aggressive toward others.Rejection and Negative Consequences—Agression ExperimentSetup of the experimentParticipants comes into the lab and fill out a personality surveyWork on another essay while the experimenter gets their results.Given an accurate personality read out to establish credibility in what the experimenter tells themThen receive a prediction based on their personality– one of three randomly assigned ones1) Will Belong 2) Won’t Belong 3) Negative4-6 Participants come into the lab.Wear name tags and given 15 minutes to get to know each other.Told that they will break up into groups and are asked to list who they would like to be in their group.While the experimenter is away, the participants write an essay describing views on pro-life/pro-choiceEither told that everyone picked them or that nobody picked them.Then told they would playing with a new person.Given a negative evaluation of their essay by that person.Told they would be playing a reaction time game. The person who is the slowest gets blasted by noise.The other participant can set the intensity and duration of the noise.DV: How much noise does the participant blast the other person with?Aggression:Accepted: -0.94Rejected: .94 Intensity:Accepted: 3.53Rejected: 6.60 Duration:Accepted: 771.20Rejected: 1,658.80How do people form relationships?Attachment TheoryOur early attachments with parents shape our relationships for the remainder of our lives.As children form attachments with caregivers, they begin developing a WORKING MODEL OF RELATIONSHIPS.Beliefs about another’s AVAILABILITY and RESPONSIVENESS.They develop their understanding of how relationships work, including how much WARMTH and security relationships provide.This working model then characterizes how they expect other people to treat them.Types of Infant Attachment:SECURE ATTACHMENT: comfortable with intimacy and want to be close to others during times of threat and uncertainty. (Key: trustf)2. ANXIOUS-PREOCCUPIED: tend not to have a positive view ofthemselves, but they value and seek out intimacy. (Key: dependency/clingy)3. DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT: seek less intimacy with others and deny the importance of close relationships. (Key: self-reliant)4. FEARFUL-AVOIDANT: desire closeness with others but feel unworthy of others’ affection and so do not seek out intimacy (Key: ambivalence)Communal and Exchange RelationshipsThere are two types of relationships: Communal and ExchangeCommunal: long term where the people feel responsibility for one anotherThe people share a common identityBased on a sense of needExample: Family, Close FriendsExchange: short term, where the people feel no special responsibility to one anotherExpect something in returnBased on reciprocity and equity: you get what you giveExample: Strangers, EmployeesDifferences in behavior between Communal and ExchangeExchange minded people are more concerned with their own and people’s contributions.Observed more in Commonwealth and European CountriesCommunal minded people are more concerned with making sure people’s needs are metObserved more in East Asian and Latin American CountriesRomantic RelationshipsSternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: Romantic Relationships are composed of three major components: passion, intimacy, and commitment1) Passion: Physical Attraction, Sexual ExcitementExperienced early in the relationshipA response to a specific physical cueExamples: Touch, Cuddling, Sexual Behavior2) Intimacy: Trust, Caring, HonestyIncreases as time goes on in the relationshipIntegrate partner more into self-conceptExamples: being close, feeling comfort and security3) Commitment: Loyalty, Devotion, SacrificeOccurs as intimacy deepened.Entails sacrifices: not flirting with others, committing resourcesExamples: marriage, having childrenA wide variety of love experiences can be understood as combinations of three basic components: intimacy, passion, and commitmentPassion only=Infatuation (one-night stand)Intimacy only=Liking (friendshipCommitment only=Empty love (empty-shell marriage)Passion+Intimacy=Romantic love (affair)Passion+Commitment=Fatuous Love (love at first sight)Intimacy+Commitment=Companionate love (long term marriage)Passion+Commitment+Intimacy=Consumate love (adult love)Studying RelationshipsDevelopment of an Attachment BondInteraction Dynamics ApproachStudying behaviors and conversations of couples with a focus on both negative and positive behaviors.Videotape couples in the lab who talk for 15 minutes about an issue. Later these interactions are coded for the presence and amount of different behaviorsFinds that 4 behaviors are “toxic” to relationships1) Criticism2) Defensiveness3) Stonewalling4) ContemptFour Behaviors that are toxic to relationships:1) Criticism: Continually finding fault with their partners2) Defensiveness: Refusing to consider the possibility that you are doing something incorrectly4) Stonewalling: Withdrawing, denying, and rejecting issues that are brought up5) Contempt: looking down on another personAnother dangerous feature—BlameDistressed couples:Attribute rewarding, positive events in relationships to unstable causes that are specific, unintended, and