CMN 230 Lecture 4 Outline of Current Lecture I 3 Types of Interpersonal Goals II 5 Principles of Interpersonal Goals Outline of Current Lecture I Interpersonal need types II Characteristics of needs III Needs throughout human development IV Interpersonal wants Current Lecture Need something you must have to survive Want something you would like to have to increase the quality of life Schutz 1958 belonging love social Three Interpersonal Needs everyone has them vary in levels of needs 1 Inclusion need from human contact fellowship include and be included 2 Control to have influence over relationships and conversations sometimes we want to be submissive and let other people have the control 3 Affection being liked valued and liking others physical and verbal Characteristics of Interpersonal Needs 1 Need orientation vary in strength and direction unique to the person and situation Expressed direction how much you give Wanted direction how much you want it from other people 2 Need orientations can usually predict people s behaviors high need for inclusion joining clubs sorority fraternity Interpersonal Needs throughout human development 1 Childhood learn early on about affection and control they learn crying earns attention 1 Babies are egocentric need the attention but lack ability to give it 2 Toddlers learn to give and take form friendships still fairly limited 2 Adolescence Need for control becomes source of fighting between parents and children 3 Early and Middle Adulthood Lack of control can lead to dissatisfaction with life and mid life crisis Time to find compatible lifelong partner 4 Later Adulthood Retirement more time to maintain relationships vacation Lose control diminishing social life Interpersonal Wants platonic and romantic 1 Physical Appearance drawn to attractive people matching principle form relationships with people who are similar to us approximately the same level of attractiveness 2 Similarity backgrounds denomination common core values 3 More rewards than cost more rewards means more satisfying relationships 4 Reciprocal Liking we like people who like us first