CMN 230 Lecture 2 Outline of Last Lecture I Why study interpersonal communication II Principles of interpersonal communication III Myths of Interpersonal Communication Outline of Current Lecture I Stages of Coming Together II Stages of Coming Apart III Principles of relationship development Current Lecture COMING TOGETHER 1 initiating open to meeting show you are worth meeting How do I meet this person Is this person open to meeting me formulaic convo small talk hard stage for shy people 2 experimenting search for commonalities audition people find out if the relationship is worth continuing low risk stage not revealing a lot during this stage search for sense of humor most relationships don t get past this stage 3 Intensifying move past superficial small talk Spend more time together become involved in daily activities increased self discloser nicknames direct feelings of expression verbal shortcuts and jokes finish sentences Romantic intense feelings miscommunication can occur when people move too fast and skip second stage 4 Integrating two distinct personalities merge social networks intimacy markers develop routines together share commitment rehash memories obligated to help them out support them and do favors deal with more costs snoring etc 5 Bonding ex marriage declaring a relationship in public biggest turning point in relationship COMING APART 5 Differentiating focusing on yourself more see differences rather than similarities refer to you and me not us compare rewards to costs 4 Circumscribing talk less less personal talk dissatisfaction negativity Stage can determine if the relationship will end 3 Stagnating go through the motions no emotions behind actions ex living together and can t move out tip go on a vaca have a new experience usually too frustrated to want to do this stale withdrawal easier to avoid the person so you don t fight 2 Avoiding so awkward you d rather just be alone zone out leave the room avoid touch hostility see them as less attractive they seem less confident everything adds up to you not liking this person cheating can occur here 1 Terminating end of relationship in previous form new boundaries never want to see each other again can be drawn out or instant 20 yrs or one night 3 principles of relationship development 1 Movement is systematic and sequential rarely skip steps 2 Movement can be forward backward or within stages relationships are not static they re always changing 3 Movement is always to a new place seeing HS friend years later you go through initiation and it s different from the first time you had this stage