CHAPTER 10 Reading And Now the Hard Part Summary of the Chapter One major belief in U S society is that couples should reproduce or want to reproduce this is also known as pronatalism having a family in wedlock brings great social approval There is much importance behind having a family especially the actual biological family Real identity is the term used to describe linked or share genes Infertility is looked down upon because couples are expected to biologically form families Antinatalists are policies designed to prevent limit the childbearing of certain groups Comparing children raised by gay parents and heterosexual parents Researchers have consistently found few or no differences in the development of gender identity gender role behavior sexual orientation self concept intelligence peer relations personality characteristics likelihood of being sexually abused or behavioral problems p275 Becoming a parent allows one to enter a social role that signifies their new identity and life Children are usually tangible symbol of love and instill a great sense of pride in most parents Children also extend their parents social network by connecting them to other relatives etc Changes in the past several decades have resulted in younger couples evolving around the concept of equality which means both parents are working and contributing to support the family and share child responsibilities Parents are held accountable for the moral and intellectual development of their child they must instill values within their children and teach them how to function well in society This may include socializing the kids by teaching them how to perform to the gender roles already laid out by society When it comes down to fathers men are less socialized to believe that their worth depends on parenthood The separation of spheres times 18th century made it clear that fathers were the prime caregivers of the children rather than mothers but when industrial revolution 19th century took over then mothers stayed at home homemaker as fathers worked to make a living breadwinner During the 1950 s Baby boomers era fathers had a renewed interest with being involved in the home and their role was seen as an integral part of child development And Now the Hard Part Summary of Read the answers to question 5 it sums up the reading precisely Study Guide Questions Related to This Chapter Reading 1 Parenting and the central responsibility of the family Responsibilities include parents providing enough income to provide safe housing monitor their child s health well being education safety etc Teach their children moral values and positive behaviors Provide healthy well balanced meals and opportunities for exercise play Parents must socialize their children so that they will function well in society and support their kids morally and emotionally Parents should also teach kids to replace their places in society class jobs etc 2 Broad cultural shifts for marriage from parenting to self fulfillment After childbirth newly parents tend to be overwhelmed by new duties chores of maintaining their children these duties tend to take up their personal time and essentially their Me Time becomes the kid s time 3 Children as public good from this perspective how are good parents defined Setting clear standards Enforcing them consistently without harsh punishment What is the most effective method of discipline Provide emotional support 4 Cultural importance of parenting about great social approval Antinatalists p275 Pronatalists Children are blessings childlessness is a curse having children brings Comparing children raised by gay parents and heterosexual parents Researchers have consistently found few or no differences in the development of gender identity gender role behavior sexual orientation self concept intelligence peer relations personality characteristics likelihood of being sexually abused or behavioral problems 5 Transition into parenting challenges and effects on marriage Picker article Studies also suggest that one third to one half of new parent couples experience as much marital distress as couples already in therapy for marital difficulties No wonder the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University concluded in its 2004 annual report Children seem to be a growing impediment for the happiness of marriages Picker pg 1 for the current generation of new parents who tend to be older and already juggling careers the hurdles are higher because the expectations are too It s not enough to raise a nice kid she s got to be ahead of the developmental curve and involved in arts and athletic activities while fueled only by nutritious organic snacks of course The couples individual roles change as well She becomes a diaper changing lactation machine he feels pressured to earn big money Picker pg 1 But a University of California Berkeley study that tracked 100 couples from first pregnancy through the child s transition to kindergarten found that the number one source of conflict in the first three years of parenthood is the division of labor about one third of American women leave the work force after starting a family another third dial back to part time hours It s a decision with which many struggle and either choice brings its own stresses Working parents must juggle their professional demands with their family s needs couples who give up one income often grapple with financial worries Chapter 11 Reading The Case Against Over Parenting Summary of The Case Against Over Parenting We were so obsessed with our kids success that parenting turned into a form of product development The insurgency goes by many names slow parenting simplicity parenting free range parenting but the message is the same Less is more hovering is dangerous failure is fruitful You really want your children to succeed Learn when to leave them alone When you lighten up they ll fly higher We re often the ones who hold them down Shutting down your inner helicopter isn t easy This is not a shift in perspective that occurs overnight Matt admits after class And it s not every day that I consciously sit down and ask myself hard questions about how I want family life to be slower or better Fear is a kind of parenting fungus invisible insidious perfectly designed to decompose your peace of mind Fear of physical danger is at least subject to rational argument fear of failure is harder to hose down MANY EDUCATORS HAVE BEEN SEARCHING for ways to tell parents when to back