Chapter 7 Interpersonal Skills 1 Conversation a Verbal interaction with at least one other person b Small Talk Exchange of information on surface level i Ask questions to find common interests ii Focus the conversation on the other person let them do a lot of the talking iii Keep conversation light c Listening Skills Maintaining eye contact paraphrase ideas i Listen to concerns of others ii Don t assume that a person has nothing to say before they say anything iii Get to know a person on a basic level and build a relationship 2 Conflict a Any situation where you perceive that another is person is frustrating or might frustrate the attainment of a concern need want or desire of someone else s or yours i I want but he she wants presence of incompatible thoughts b Causes of Conflict i Pursuit of Goals Someone sets goals for you that you do not want ii Allocation of Resources Only so much time and money to do things if someone wants you to do them in a way that is not best for you iii Decisions Making decisions for other people that are not apt for that person iv Inappropriate Behaviors People do not follow our own parameters c Conflict Levels i No conflict ii Latent Conflict Only one person recognizes or sees a problem iii Problems to Solve People express their concerns and recognition of a problem iv Dispute Fighting over the issue v Help Seek help b c situation is out of their control vi Fight or Flight Help does not work parties either attempt to destroy each other or escape the situation vii Intractability Conflict is its own no one can stop it d Role of Anger i Feeling of being upset with yourself or others 1 Do not react immediately when you are angered 2 Do not make important decisions in the heat of any angry moment 3 Use energy to act constructively use adrenaline at the gym 4 Apologize e Other People s Anger i Do not give in to someone s threats or behaviors ii Let person vent his her frustrations 3 Fair Fighting a Working toward an amicable solution to the problem b c relationship is more important than the problem i Gather all information and adjust the problem based on these facts ii Keep arguments in present tense iii Do not try to make the other person change iv Only start a fight if it can be finished v Setting can effect the conflict vi Conflict can only last if both parties are participating vii Listen to your body tone of voice stress levels anger viii Identify what you realistically need to get out of this transaction 4 Dealing with Conflict a Avoidance Not confronting the conflict postponing or ignoring the issue b Accommodation Smoothing Over Putting the needs of others ahead of your own or giving in c Compromise Brings concerns in the open and attempts to satisfy both parties d Competition Gain compliance or acceptance over your point of view even though the other person disagrees e Someone wins and someone loses Integration Concerned about their own needs as well as the needs of others Win win situation Relationship self worth and issue are equally important 5 Managing Conflict a Assertive Behavior Standing up for personal rights without damaging others taking action b Nonassertive Behavior Trying to avoid conflict you do not get what you want c Aggressive Behavior Trying to get your way i Direct Aggression Outward expression of communication ii Passive Aggression Attacks in a manipulative way d DESC Describing expressing specifying and stating consequences e Negotiation Act of bargaining to reach an agreement with at least two people or groups working on a mutual problem i Principles 1 Prepare in Advance What are your needs and what are the other person s needs 2 Reframe Restate what you heard in your own words or ask questions 3 Respond Don t React Manage your emotions attack the problem not the person 4 Indentify and Alter Tactics Take a break change location go into smaller groups end meeting now resume later ii Styles 1 Win Lose One person s getting what he or she wants while the other comes up short 2 Lose Lose Neither person is satisfied no one gets what they want 3 Win Win Both parties get what they want 6 Handling Criticism a Criticism the act of judging usually negative i Seek more information ii Paraphrase the ideas of the person making the criticism to clarify them for both of you iii What consequences will result if you do not alter what was criticized iv Accept the criticism if it is true v Recognize that criticism is usually well intended 7 Apologizing a Say sorry Chapter 9 Working In Groups 1 Groups i State what you did wrong ii Explain why you took the wrong action iii Express regret or remorse i Small Groups 3 12 people ii Large Groups 12 people b Reasons for Groups a A collection of individuals who interact with one another who have goals and purposes i Join because you are required to do so because you like the members of the group because of the meaning or indentity that comes with the group to gain contacts socialization from other members networking 2 Advantages Disadvantages of Groups a Advantages i Challenging ideas before they are put into action due to the various inputs of many people ii Greater commitment among participants once decision is reached b c the member feels part of something iii Risky Shift Phenomenon decisions reached after discussion by a group display more experimentation are less conservative and contain more risk than those decisions that are made by one person b Disadvantages i Time group decision making takes longer than individual decision making ii Group Think The members of the group make decisions without concern that the conclusions made are not in the best interest of anyone other than the members and their loyalty to the leader Stems from pressure to conform to social norms iii Social Loafing Group membership leads people to work less than they would individually 3 Types of Groups work a Work Team small groups of workers who function as teams to make and implement decisions about their own b Study Groups Individuals who work together to study and learn with the assistance of others c Support Groups People who meet up to interact with each other who share similar goals or problems People who come together to face and cope with the normal processes in life d Committees A small group responsible for study research and recommendations about an issue Used most commonly in large organizations e Focus Groups Groups that test reactions to a particular product process or service offered by an organization 4
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