Chapter 6 Interpersonal and Electronically Mediated Communication Interpersonal communication interactional processes in which 2 ppl send and receive messages Basic Concepts of Interpersonal Communication Communication takes place within a system system remains unchanged das long We teach others how to treat us if we don t object to the way someone treats us as the status quo is maintained then it becomes habitual We communicate what and who we are Much of our interpersonal communication centers on our wanting others to act or think or feel as we do attempt at persuasion Meaning is in people not in words we think grass means lawn drug dealers consider grass marijuana We cannot not communicate People react to our actions action reaction principle We do what we do because in the end we expect to achieve happiness We cannot always have the same understandings and feelings as others different cultural backgrounds Self disclosure Self disclosure is intentionally letting the other person know who you are by communicating self revealing information Amount of info disclosed will be based on whether the atmosphere is supportive or defensive the type of relationship between the ppl involved The Self and Others Self perceived I image you project of yourself seen through the words ideas actions clothing and lifestyle you choose Other perceived me is the person that others perceive you to be If your me and I are not balanced you can o Accept critique and change o Accept critique but decide not to change o Acknowledge critique but reject it find no need to change o Ignore critique Self fulfilled person the person who confidently chooses what to reveal and to Pregiving you give the person something he wants in order to help convince him Seeking Approval whom Gaining Compliance to act as you want him to Liking be friendly Promise Threat Self feelings Esteem Debt Emotions as a Factor in Interpersonal Communication Most of our actions are emotional Power as a Factor in Interpersonal Communication Power is the ability to control what happens to create things you want to happen and to block things you don t want to happen Expert power is your capacity to influence another person b c of the knowledge Referent power most important source of power based on personal loyalty Reward power requires that you be perceived as the best or only source of and skills you have friendship affection admiration desired rewards Coercive power is based on possible negative outcomes that are used as weapons Legitimate power stems from one person s perception that another person has the right to make requests of him or her b c of the position that the other person occupies or b c of the nature of the relationship Male Female Communication Differences in emotional response between men and women may be partially explained by the differences in the structure and organization of the brain 2 halves of the men s brain are connected by a smaller number of fibers that a woman s so the flow of info between the sides is more restricted therefore a woman can express her emotions better in words b c what she feels has been transmitted more effectively to the verbal side of the brain Genders socially constructed males independence competition aggression females dependence nurturance sensitivity males play in large groups that are hierarchically structured winners losers emphasis on skill females no winners losers have a bff Women use language to create intimacy and connection while men use language to preserve their independence and negotiate their status Men are more competitive in their speaking competitive turn taking grabbing the floor by interrupting another speaker Men tend to be more task oriented while women tend to be more maintenance oriented Women are more supportive conversationalists Men are more direct Women use more tag questions questions added onto the end of statements That move was terrific don t you think Women disclose more personal information than men females are more people oriented and concerned with internal psychological and emotional states while men are self oriented and concerned with action Women have larger vocabularies for emotions and aesthetics Men are less expressive listeners Men need a kind of love that is trusting accepting and appreciative while women need a king of love that is caring understanding and respectful Androgyny a person who communicates with both masculine and feminine patterns Sexual Harassment and Bullying Sexual harassment unwanted behavior of a sexual nature that interferes with your life communication is the primary medium through which it is expressed Trust your instincts don t blame yourself get emotional support say no clearly early to whoever makes you uncomfortable document every incident in detail find a way to speak out seek our supportive individuals Bullying verbally or physically attacking someone Relationships Interpersonal relationships social associations or affiliations between 2 or more ppl romantic friendship business partners family Barriers to establishing intimate connections fear of exposure fear of abandonment fear of reprisal or attack fear of loss of control fear of loss of individuality fear of creating a power imbalance Intimacy depends on accepting one s self as well as others communicating clearly maintaining a balance of power maintaining a balance of independence and interdependence and knowing the sequential patterns of development and maintenance Intercultural intimate conflict any disagreement between 2 partners in part to cultural ethnic group differences Knapp s relationship escalation model is a communication based explanation of how relationships develop and continue o Initiation stage short first impression good bad vibe o Experimenting stage asking questions to better get to know each other o Intensifying stage self disclosure becomes more common more informal o Integrating stage developed a shared relational identity bf gf o Bonding stage formal announcement of the relationship marriage partnership Social exchange theory as long as rewards are equal to or exceeds costs the relationship will usually become more intimate however once costs exceed rewards the relationship may begin to dissolve A good relationship allows freedom of expression Conflict in intimate relationships can be caused by blaming putting someone down teasing Relational fusion one partner defines reality for the other Relational conflict o Tension develops o False
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