Chapter 6 Concept of Interpersonal Communication Interpersonal Communication Interactional process where two people send and receive messages Give Take Relationships and Information 1 Communication takes place in a system a There is a set pattern that we react when we enter communicative relationships i Who has control over conversation ii Who speaks to whom b Changes in system changes in communication c Some systems require adjustment one person might need to take control when usually they are dependent on others 2 We Teach Others How to Treat Us a System structured each individual plays a specific role b People treat us how they feel they should and if there are no objections it becomes a system 3 We Communicate What and Who We are a Selection of words tone of voice and gestures formulate our values likes dislikes and self perceptions b Receivers form conclusions based on these traits 4 Interpersonal Communication Attempt Persuasion a Attempt to alter reinforce behavior gain compliance give advice or elicit action The Self 1 Self Disclosure Intentionally letting someone get to know you by giving out self revealing information a Depending on how supportive people are will determine how much information you disclose Image of yourself self perceived I 2 3 Perceived Me is who you let others see you to be a Could be the same or different from the I b If the I and Me do not match up communicatively react i Change your actions Make the specific changes in yourself that others have warranted ii Accept the evaluation but do not change iii Reject the evaluation do not change iv Ignore evaluation Ignore all criticism that is given by not even listening to it Seeking Approval 1 People become so consumed with seeking approval that they forget their self worth 2 Self Fulfilled Person who confidently chooses what to reveal and to who they reveal it to a Not afraid of a negative self concept b Is aware that there are problems frustrations and failures in life 1 Sometimes it is necessary to apply persuasion skills so that people do things for us agree with us or engage with us Give Gaining Compliance Take Process 2 Compliance Gaining Strategies a Pregiving Give someone something they want in order to get them to help you act the way you want them to act b Liking Be friendly so that the person s mood shifts before you ask for something c Promise Make a promise when proposing conformity or assistance d Threat Use influence or control over a person if he or she does not conform to your request e Self feelings Include a statement of guilt f Esteem Indicate that there is a reward for their actions g Debt Someone owes you one Emotions Power 1 Right side of brain or emotional side triggers first Then left side or logic side is triggered a 90 of actions are emotional 10 are intellectual b All messages though are made up of both parts 1 Ability to control what happens create what you want to happen and block what you don t want to happen choose for yourself control the choices of others 2 Cultural Differences a European Americans want power think they deserve it do not want others to have power b Women Minorities want power to have freedom from internal external restraints c Muslims Hindus feels that they are empowered by g ds d Asia people do not talk about themselves or their powers they have intuitive feelings about one another 3 Types of Power a Expert Power your capacity to influence another person b c of the knowledge and skills you are presumed to have i Demonstrate your expertise to others in order to gain this power b Referent Power most important Based on personal loyalty friendship affection and admiration i Demonstrate trust worthiness support c Reward Power You re perceived as the best source or only source of giving out rewards d Coercive Power Based on possible negative outcomes that can be used as weapons i Know what people fear ii Acquire the weapons used to exert this fear on someone iii Communicate that you possess these weapons iv Persuade the other person that you are willing to use them the position that the other person occupies or the nature of the relationship i Student Teacher relationship teacher obtains legit power ii Acquire more authority to attain more legit power e Legitimate Power One person s perception that another person has the right to make requests of him or her b c of Gender Communication 1 Sex One s biologically physical self male female 2 Gender One s psychological social and interactive characteristics man woman 3 The sexes are different b c the brain is structured differently processes information differently and thus maintains different a Women can express their emotions better in words b c her feelings have been transmitted more effectively to the perceptions priorities behaviors verbal side of the brain 4 Gender is socially constructed a Lessons learned different developments b Women Traits Female traits should be considered tendencies b c people could be the opposite of what they are c Women use language to create relationships intimacy men use language to make known their status d Men more competitive in their speaking use competitive turn taking interrupt the speaker and begin to talk e Men more task oriented while women more maintenance oriented f Women use tag questions questions added onto ends of statements Relationships Development 1 Interpersonal Relationships Social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people a Sequential Pattern of Relationships Knapp s Relationship Escalation Model i Initiation Stage short based on basic information being shared such as each other s names 1 Observe appearances superficiality 2 good vibes or bad vibes ii Experimenting Stage Asking questions of each other in order to gain more information Is there future interest in a relationship 1 2 Light probing of beliefs values iii Intensifying Stage Self Disclosure becomes a factor 1 Personal nicknames kick in 2 Awareness of attitudes beliefs family friendships iv Integrating Stage best friends couple boyfriend girlfriend 1 Shared relational identity v Bonding Stage formal sometimes legal announcement of the relationship 1 Living together having a child etc b Economic Model of Relationships Relationship will become more intimate if rewards are equal to or exceed costs i If Investment like money time relational costs are equal to security affection relational rewards then the relationship will continue ii If one person does all the giving and the
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