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Personal Reasons for Divorce
-High expectations for personal happiness; marry for love but demands of family life erode positive feelings for spouse
Demands that Erode Positive Feelings
-Paying bills -Caring for children -Work -Caring for home -Involvement in other organizations -Gender role stereotypes
Societal Reasons for Divorce
Societal Reasons for Divorce
Autonomous mate selection vs. Arranged marriage
-Love-based marriages more likely to end in divorce -Economic-based marriages more stable
What are children of divorce more likely to experience?
-Divorce -41-53% more likely than individuals raised in a two-parent intact family -Lack a role model for how to resolve marital conflict -Children raised in single-parent families lack any model of a man-woman relationship
Predictors of Divorce-Economy
-Economic hardship places strains on the marriage- leads people to desire divorce -As an economy recovers from a downturn, an increase in divorce rate because people can afford to divorce
Predictors of Divorce- Socioeconomic Status
- People of lower income more likely to divorce. -More stress on the marriage due to less money -Higher level of men's education, less likely to divorce -Higher level of women's education, more likely to divorce
Predictors of Divorce- Age at Marriage
People who marry in their teens, particularly those that marry in their early or middle teens (under age 18), are more likely to divorce
Predictors of Divorce- Premarital Pregnancy
Couples who experience premarital pregnancy that results in the birth of a child either before the marriage or during the first 7 months of marriage are much more likely to divorce
Predictors of Divorce- Religion
-Contradictory findings -Catholics and Muslims less likely to divorce Protestants -Baptist and fundamental Protestants have highest number of divorced individuals. Why? Outreach programs
Characteristics of Divorce
-Divorce is a process, not an event -Effects of parental divorce are felt long before and long after the physical separation of the parents
Series of Transitions Involving Great Change
-Family Roles -Separation from noncustodial parent -Family Routines -Responsibilities -Residence, neighborhood -Schools -Peers -Mom may change employment status
Infants Reaction to Parental Divorce
-Quality of attachment with noncustodial parent is threatened -Quality of attachment with custodial parent may be threatened due to increased stress on parent making parent less responsive to the child
Preschool-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
Extreme sadness and missing the absent parent
School-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
School-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
School-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
-Anxiety about how divorce will affect their future -Who will pay for college?
Among all age- groups reaction to Parental Divorce
-Feelings of abandonment -Feelings of betrayal
Short-term Adjustment to Divorce
-Takes about 2 years -Boys have a more difficult time than girls: Mother-son conflict escalates -Mother-daughter relationship becomes very close -Children's initial reaction is NOT related to long-term adjustment
Long-term Adjustment to Divorce
-Low inter-parental conflict -Quality of child's relationship with custodial parent -Quality of child's relationship with noncustodial parent -Fewer post-divorce transitions -Having a wide range of social support: grandparents, friends, extracurricular activities, youth leader/coach, …
Sole Custody
-One parent is sole legal guardian and other parent "visits" -One parent assumes complete responsibility for child care
Joint Legal custody
-One parent has physical custody -Both parents have legal right to be involved in decisions regarding the child (education, medical treatment, etc.)
Joint Physical Custody
-Both parents have legal rights regarding making decisions for the child -Child spends an equal amount of time with each parent
Advantages of Joint Physical and Sole Physical/Legal Custody
-Child is still able to see both parents
Disadvantages of Joint Physical and Sole Physical/Legal Custody
-May get caught in the middle of the parents problems
Divorce Mediation
-Non-adversarial process used to negotiate the division of property, financial settlements, and parenting plans -Find common ground -Generate creative solutions -Problem solve rather than fight -Required in some states -Not appropriate for situations regarding child abuse or domestic…
Remarriage is more likely if person is:
-Divorced rather than widowed -Male rather than female -White rather than African American
Divorce rates of second marriage
Higher than divorce rates in the first marriage
Length of first marriage and time between divorce and remarriage
-Median length of first marriage is 7 years -Average time between divorce and remarriage is 3 years: less for men, longer for women -Men average about 18 months between divorce and remarriage
Characteristics of Stepfamilies
-Instant creation of family -Relationship with ex-spouse and ex-inlaws have influence on the stepfamily functioning -Role confusion -Allegiances, loyalty conflicts and guilt -Parent-child subsystem comes first; new spouse has to be accommodated into the family
Strategies in Adjustment of Stepfamilies
-Set long-range goals -Biological parent should set limits for their own biological children -Stepparent should support spouse in their parenting role and try to "befriend" stepchildren as if he/she were a youth leader -Develop new rituals and traditions -Develop ways to communicate w…
Characteristics of Successful Stepfamilies
-Losses have been mourned -Expectations are realistic -Strong, unified couple -Constructive rituals are established -Satisfactory step-relationships have been formed -Separate households cooperate
"Crisis Period"
-Period during the transition to parenthood -Involves major role changes
Transition to parenthood can cause:
-Identity crisis -What kind of parent do you want to be? -Not only your needs anymore, focus on child before yourself
When is your identity made?
When you realize the things you value after you go through a crisis
Reasons "for" Parenting:
-Pass on family name/family line -Generativity (need to nurture) -Have a lot to offer or can provide -Can provide money
Reasons "against" Parenting:
-Less time for self, spouse, career, education, etc. -No strong desire to nurture -Feel society is too dangerous -Not enough money -Not mature enough or mentally healthy enough to handle the stress of parenting -Spouse or partner does not have a desire to be a parent
Stress Accentuation Hypothesis
-Relationship can move along well without any stress but when there is stress, it points out the weak points in a marriage *Stress reveals a lot about personality and your relationships with others
Parenthood Differs from Other Social Roles
-Women more pressured than men to parent -Not always voluntarily assumed -Irrevocable -Little preparation -Developmental- changes as parents, children, and circumstances change
Deciding to Become a Parent:
-Are you financially stable? Can you afford a baby? -Will you have a support system? -How will existing family be affected by a new baby? -Are you willing to sacrifice the majority of your free time to the raising of a child? -Are you willing to sacrifice time you have spent in your …
Ultimate Goal of Parenting
-To nurture children to become productive members of society -Many of society's problems are the result of poor parenting (drug use, violence, etc.)
Attachment
-An enduring emotional bond between two people -Sense of connection -Feeling of rightness when they are together -Ability to sense each other's emotions and respond -Property of a dyad, not an individual
Attachment transcends
-Time -Space -Death -True attachment relationships will last forever
Attachment Theory in infants
-Humans are pre-wired at birth for social interactions -Process of attachment begins right after birth -Orient toward voices, especially mothers or fathers -Orient toward the scent of mother's breast milk. Infants can tell a difference between the scent of their mother and an unfamilia…
John Bowlby
-British psychiatrist -Developed attachment theory -Studied children who were orphaned and hospitalized -Imprinting (love at first sight) -Developed from Freud's psychoanalytical theory -A lot of problems adult women have started from relationships with their moms
Developing Attachment
Parents typically being the process of forming an attachment when the baby is in utero (fetal attachment) *Utero- during pregnancy -Mom will rub and pat tummy -Parents talk to unborn baby -May name baby -Begin to nest or prepare for arrival of baby *Nest-prepare room or home -Parents…
Optimal period for the development of Parent-Infant attachment
-Right after birth -Attachment relationship develops through repeated interactions over time -Most important form of contact is skin-to-skin contact: lays foundation for relationship -Bonding occurs during optimal period
Stages of Attachment- Birth up to 2 months of age: Indiscriminate Responsiveness
-Indiscriminate response to others -Newborn is predisposed to attach to any human -Most babies respond equally to any caregiver
Stages of Attachment: About 2 months-7 months of age:
-Discriminating social responsiveness -Biggest smiles for caregiver, cries to be held by caregiver, more easily soothed by caregiver -If mom is present, babies will full till they have her attention. If mom is not present they will respond to any caregiver -Begins to recognize who mom …
Stages of Attachment: About 6 months to 3 years:
-Active proximity seeking -Child follows caregiver -Holds up arms to be held by caregiver
Stages of Attachment: About 3 years and up
-Goal-corrected Partnerships -Begins to take parent's needs into account -Stand longer periods without mother -Understand concepts like: "Mommy has to go to the grocery store so she will be back later" "Mommy is on the phone so I need to wait to talk with her"
Attachment Behavioral System
1. Proximity promoting behaviors: cries to be held, clings, approaches, follows caregiver 2. Separation distress 3. Joy upon reunion with the caregiver 4. Social referencing: when stranger approaches, they look to see how the parent responds & takes their cues from them 5. Stranger An…
Attachment Quality
-Not all attachments are equal. They can vary in quality -Secure, Insecure resistant, Insecure avoidant
Ainsworth's Strange Situation
-Assessment of Attachment Quality -Mary Ainsworth working with mothers and infants in Uganda -Noticed infants behavior when mothers left
Child behaviors to look for according to Ainsworth Strange Situation
-Social referencing when stranger enters -Separation distress when mother leaves -Joy upon reunion when mother returns -Ability to be comforted by mother -Ability to regain focus on play with toys *Reunion behaviors determine childs attachment quality
Secure Attachment
-Child actively explores toys when alone with mother -Social references to mother when stranger enters -When mother leaves, child shows separation distress -Child shows joy upon reunion with mother -If distressed, child is comforted or soothed by mother
Insecure Resistant
-Child social references to mother when stranger enters -When mother leaves, child displays extreme separation distress -When reunited with mother, child is ambivalent (both happy and upset)--happy to see her, still upset that she left in the first place -Not easily comforted or soothe…
Insecure Avoidant
-Child shows little to no distress when separated from mother -Shows little fear or anxiety around stranger- little social referencing -Ignores or shows less joy upon reunion with mother
Parenting and Attachment Quality in Secure Attachment
-Fostered by consistently responsive parenting -High levels of interactional synchrony (mutual gazing, high levels of well-timed turn taking involving high levels of positive effect or joy) -Interaction synchrony- baby looks at mom, mom says "well, hello!" baby smiles
Parenting and Attachment Quality in Insecure Resistant Attachment
-Sometimes responsive to child's needs -Sometimes indifferent to child's needs -Depends on the mood of the parent
Parenting and Attachment Quality in Insecure Avoidant Attachment
Consistently unresponsive and indifferent or neglectful parenting -Overzealous parenting that provides extremely high levels of stimulation -Overstimulates-constant stimulation for baby, even when it is unnecessary
Child Factors that Influence Attachment Quality:
-Temperament -Sociability -Ease with which child makes transitions -Cuddle factor -Adaptability to new situations -Attention/Persistence -Rhythm of biological functions -Need for stimulation
Parent Factors that Influence Attachment Quality
-Parent's mental health -Parent's history of having been parented -Parent's temperament -Parenting behaviors/style -Mothers who are depressed
Basic Trust and Attachment
-High touch, high skin-to-skin contact -Consistent, responsive caregiving -Reciprocity, Interactional synchrony: turn taking, sensitivity to others cues -Most important goal of parenting
Parenting Infants: Cognitive Development
-Environment needs to stimulate sensorimotor skills -Direct interaction needed between caregiver and infant -Active exploration of environment
Parenting Toddlers: Parent Becomes Protector
-Child's mobility requires parent to shadow child's moves: child tries walking upstairs -Must childproof house: doors cannot be opened easily, baby gates at top and bottom of stairs, plug open electrical outlets
To Foster Autonomy:
-Set only necessary limits -Allow child to express his/her self; make choices, and do things "all by myself!" -Guide in a way that allows child to be independent
Toilet Training
-Do not rush -Average age about 2-3 years old -No relationship between age at toilet training and IQ
Signs of readiness for Toilet Training:
-Wants to be changed when wet -Can go for long periods of time without wetting -Shows an interest in sitting on the toilet -Understands connection between feeling the urge to wet and being able to urinate on the toilet -Set child up for success rather than failure -Control of bowel m…
Toddler Aggression
-To be expected! -Hitting and biting increase in most children just before an advance in language skills -Hitting and biting increase before children learn to share and take turns (does not really occur until children are 4-5 years) -Anger and aggression usually result from frustration…
Initiative vs. Guilt
-3 to 5 years old -Initiative arises in relation to tasks for the sake of activity, both motor and intellectual; most kids desire to be physically active and are motivated to learn -Guilt may arise over goals contemplated (especially aggressive) -Desire to mimic adult world; child iden…
To Foster Initiative:
-Allow for self competency= positive self concept -Give choices to facilitate child's sense of initiative -Answer children's questions about who, what, and why -Provide formal and informal learning experiences
Night Waking
-Normal for infants -Teething, nightmares, parents' stress, going through a growth spurt, and achieving a new developmental milestone can all contribute to night waking -95% of infants wake every 3-4 hours during the night; during first 2 months, night wakings require parental attention…
Night Waking (cont)
-By 8 months, majority of infants wake only every 6-7 hours -Often able to self-soothe and fall back asleep without much attention -Infants who receive parental attention return to sleep more quickly than those who do not
Dr. Richard Ferber
-Sleep training researcher -Child should learn to soothe themselves rather than becoming dependent on their parents to help them sleep
Sleep Training Method
-Wait a few minutes before going in to comfort the child when he/she cries -Go back in to reassure child. Comfort the child for a small time without picking the child up -Wait for increasingly longer period of time to return to comfort the child (5 min, 10 min, etc.) -Usually by the 3r…
Co-Sleeping
-Researchers do not believe that young children learn to soothe themselves to sleep -Believe that young children learn that the parent will not provide comfort or care, this undermines children's trust in parents *Children stop crying for their parents because they have learned that p…
Tips for Getting a Child to Sleep
-Be consistent -Make nap time earlier -Do not cut a nap out completely if the child is younger than 3 -Create a bedtime routine (taking a bath, singing, reading a story)
Either co-sleep or sleep in close proximity
-May use a co-sleeper -May place crib in parents' room -May place child's bed close to parents -Allow siblings to co-sleep with older babies (toddlers, not very young infants)
Potential Problems with Sleep Training
-Increases in stress hormone cortisol can lead to long-term problems in emotional regulation -Linked to later problems with sleep patterns or behavior -Children are not developed enough to self soothe in healthy ways until around 2 1/2 to 3 years of age -Need to be responded to when th…

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