11Power struggleEvidence that power and control are at issue: Student says so - "You can't make me do that," "Oh yeah?, and it feels threatening. You feel like "getting" the kid or using physical force to make your point, force obedience. Anger surrounds these exchanges, and the teacher usually does whatever s/he must to win. Student either lashes out or sulks; often talks to other students about unfairness, shows anger. You are sending a student to ICE or expelling/suspending someone for bad behavior.Remember your last skirmish? If you are able to assess it from outside the time, you can't remember exactly what you said, except for something that was too harsh, and you can't understand how you got to that "out of control" place. You are likely to be simmering underneath, and dreading the next confrontation. How does the kid feel?He or she probably feels the same way - dread, victimized, justified, fuming, miserable, and unwilling to be forced into a corner, no matter what it takes. Solutions• Students can do a lot of acting out, "winning" so to speak, that adults can't, so let the kid up off the mat, out of the corner. Refuse to keep exchanging blows in this lose-lose arena. Teachers cannot win, because the most power you have is to kick the kid out of your classroom. Winning that way is very costly. The student can hold a grudge, vandalize the school, talk about you behind your back, not go to school and lose out on educational and socialization experiences so necessary to be a useful member of the community.• Regain your own sense of self and self control. It is easy to blame the student for how we feel, to bluster around about wanting respect and "kids these days..." The real issue is personal. Can you control yourself, or is the student going to be able to get you to play his game?• Use the four "C"s to build a relationship with the youngster -- something unexpected, and the real thing the student actually needs from an adult, a model of how to behave, how to control self, how to remain calm.1) Choice - start framing tasks for this person so s/he can save face. It works with 2-year-olds and it will work with adolescents. "Do you want me to help you with the outline, or try it yourself?" 2) Consequences -- the more natural the better. Get out of the punishment realm. It does not work, even if you had plenty of it and it didn't hurt you..... yes it did. You felt victimized and it taught you to act as you are acting now. Choose consequences - if you do not get your work done, you won't learn. How sad for you. If you are not able to work right now, you will need to do exercises to get yourself under control. It must be hard to have to fight your body for self control. . . etc. 3) Care and concern - model how adults care for children and show your concern for this student. Keep using supportive words, actions, and positive thoughts for the student. It may be a long time before the student can be supportive in return, kind, appreciative. That is not the point. You model maturity, you show what self control looks like, you continue to be the adult and refuse to be drawn into a confrontation. Control yourself and don't allow the student to control interactions. 4) Consistency -- this provides safety. It is not the same as "fair." It has to do with ritual, soothing certainty, the student knowing the boundaries. Set up a routine, and be certain it gives students the most time to learn and the safest learning community setting. Then teach all of it to students, explaining the "whys" as you go. As new students come into the class, have everyone explain the procedures and rules. Maintain it.12OwnershipEvidence that task commitment is an issue: Student verbalizes complaints - "I already did this, already know this, this is dumb," etc. Energy to get started working is missing ..... and student must be reminded frequently. Complaints that no one needs to know this or will every use it again.Involved in something else and does not want to stop to do the new work. Reference to grading is always about what the teacher will be awarding rather than what the student earns or deserves.Remember how you felt at the last meeting when you were told about something you had to change and didn't want to do? Did you feel helpless? Angry? Thwarted? Did you feel like quitting? How about the last time you got "caught" doing something you knew could get you busted, but felt helpless to change --- like being late, not getting papers graded, stayed home because your child was sick, but had no days for that, so had to say you were ill? Bureaucracy lends itself to that - a feeling of impotence.Students learn best when they feel less fear and more power. It is a great motivator.Solutions• How do I encourage students to work hard for themselves; to get the ideas and knowledge instead of working for a grade? It is a tough question, and one you will want to incorporate in your classroom.• Rethink your role. Are you a watchdog? Is it your job to report and punish when a student does not know something? Isn't that F you gave the student actually yours? Who failed? Why both of you!• Use rubrics that give clear information about what is expected in an assignment. It is hard at first, but becomes a way of thinking about excellence. How will the student know what is enough, what is expected? The rubric spells it out for all of us. Students can learn to write rubrics and checklists.*• Add mastery based assessment to your grading system and put students in charge of maintaining those records -- strutting their stuff.• Work as a team member instead of the holder of the keys. Practice saying 'I don't know,' or turning questions around so student feel like they are empowered and not knowing is ok. Our current system has a built in penalty each time someone doesn't know something. We can change that.• Think of yourself as a facilitator - someone who makes the improbable happen. Learning is a miraculous process and we transcend the moment each time a light bulb goes on for a student because of