31Rage and AngerEvidence that lack of self control is an issue: Anger presents a very clear set of nonverbal markers, including facial expressions, grimace, eyebrows askew, mouth and lips pulled tight or teeth clenched and pulled lips, squinting eyes. Body is rigid with tension in fingers, limbs, neck, legs and choppy motions, and breathing tends to be different, with sound attached, gulping, huffing Voice is loud and has an uncontrolled feel to it with words exploding or snapping. Cursing and use of expletives is very common; even normal words sound "ugly". Expect name calling, muttering, blaming, outrage, refusals, all part of losing control. It is not uncommon for pushing, shoving, kicking, throwing things, though the time prior to letting off steam may include balled up look, with fists tight, head down, muscles tensed. Sarcasm and cynicism are clear components of anger. We communicate our rage in name calling, put-downs, almost like spears and knives. That is the reason for saying "he looked daggers at me" or a piercing look. Verbal abuse is a common response, as rage spills over.Remember back to a time you blew up. Were you simmering first, calm and it came out of nowhere, confused by the amount of energy and force? Did you blame yourself or others? What about the times when you were feeling cynical, sarcastic? You may or may not know yourself and your own anger, but you probably know the signs of your children or your best friend. You can see it coming and you can feel it coming.The same is true of students. We can tune into how they look and are acting and see it coming just like we can predict rain. Included with this discussion is a test on anger and hostility. Please take a few minutes to remind yourself about anger, check your own level of anger, and learn a few things to help yourself and students stay in control.Solutions• Teach self soothing. . . breathing, rocking, imagery, pacing, exercise, etc.• Use conflict resolution in the classroom, practice it as a group, and as frustrations arise, utilize it before anger or discontent get out of hand. Make it a common practice and support its use yourself.• Give students time and support in learning self control, self monitoring and self management.• The thermometer is a useful tool for student awareness of the many levels of anger.• Demystify anger and take it into common talk and discussion.• We have emotional responses to the events in life. Once we become aroused, one of three states may take over.They are FEAR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .flightANGER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .fightHELPLESSNESS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . puddle These are physiological responses and are triggered automatically -- that is what arousal means -- adrenalinestarts pumping, the base of our brain prepares us to protect ourselves and our thinking shuts down except at the most basic survival level. Once this occurs, it takes a while for the mind and body to go back to normal, be able to think and make sense of what others are doing. We are emotionally fragile and ready to hurt others to protect ourselves from threat or hide ourselves. It takes at least 20 minutes for that arousal to dissolve.It is during this time that teachers need to help us calm ourselves rather than increasing our anxiety or panic.32Fight / Flight: Hostility and Anger Questionnaire (From Anger Kills)Directions: Fill this out as honestly as possible. You need not share the score with others.1. A person drives by my yard with the car stereo blaring acid rock.A. I wonder if the driver is ruining his hearing.B. I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise.2. The person who cuts my hair trims off more than I wanted.A.. I tell him or her what a lousy job he or she did.B . I figure it'll grow back, and I resolve to give my instructions more forcefully next time.3. I am in the express checkout line at the supermarket, where a sign reads: "No more than 10 items, please!"A. I pick up a magazine to pass the time.B. I glance ahead to see if anyone has more than ten items.4. Many large cities have a visible number of homeless people.A. I believe that the homeless are down and out because they lack ambition.B. The homeless are victims of illness or some other misfortune.5. There have been times when I was very angry with someone.A. I was always able to stop short of hitting them.B. I have, on occasion, hit or shoved them.6. The newspaper contains a prominent news story about drug related crime.A. I wish the government had better educational/drug programs, even for pushers.B. I wish we could put every drug pusher away for good.7. The prevalence of AIDS has reached alarming proportions.A. This is largely the result of irresponsible behavior on the part of a small group of the population.B. AIDS is a major tragedy.8. I sometimes argue with a friend or relativeA. I find profanity an effective tool.B. I hardly ever use profanity.9. I am stuck in a traffic jam.A. I usually am not particularly upset.B. I quickly start to feel irritated and annoyed.10. There is a really important job to be done.A. I prefer to do it myself.B. I am apt to call on my friends or co-workers to help.11. Sometimes I keep my angry feelings to myself.A. Doing so can often prevent me from making a mountain out of a molehill.B. Doing so is usually a bad idea.12. Another driver butts ahead of me in traffic.A. I usually flash my lights or honk my horn.B. I stay farther back behind such a driver.13. Someone treats me unfairly.A. I usually forget it rather easily.B. I am apt to keep thinking about it for hours.14. The cars ahead of me on an unfamiliar road start to slow and stop as they approach a curve.A. I assume that there is a construction site ahead.B. I assume someone ahead had a fender bender.15. Someone expresses an ignorant belief.A. I try to correct him or her.B. I am likely to let it pass.16. I am caught in a slow moving bank or supermarket line.A. I usually start to fume at people who dawdle ahead of me.B. I seldom notice the wait.3317. Someone is being rude or annoying.A. I am apt to avoid him or her in the future.B. I might have to straight them out.18. An election year roles around.A. I learn anew that politicians are not to be trusted.B. I am caught up in the excitement of