HDFS 129 PROFESSOR SHERRY CORNEAL FINAL EXAM STUDY GUIDE IN CLASS NOTES Why marriages end in divorce o John Gottman University of Washington Studying marriages for over 30 years Helps us understand why marriages succeed or fail Marital Interaction Assessment a videotaped 15 minute discussion by husband and wife Asked to discuss a problem they were having Could predict whether a couple would divorce or not with a 94 certainty Specific Affect Coding System facial expression voice tone and body language Used during Marital Interaction Assessment Looks for positive vs negative affect o Positive affect o Negative affect includes humor affection validation joy includes disgust contempt criticism belligerence domineering defensiveness whining tension fear anger sadness Looks for physiological measures including heart rate pulse palmar skin conductance gross motor movement blood assays of immune response Predicted divorce by pattern recognition He would see that there was a pattern to the way people interacted o Healthy vs unhealthy o i e wife would bring something up to discuss husband would withdraw not want to talk wife gets agitated 4 styles of interacting that predict divorce Criticism attacking someone s character o Involves blame and is global o Complaining is NOT criticism complaining is actually good for a marriage Defensiveness denying responsibility o i e I never said that I never did that It s not my fault o Involves making excuses Contempt the intention to belittle the other Stonewalling physically and or emotionally withdrawing from the conflict o Showing having no emotion o Does not want to face deal with the pressing issue o Removing oneself o Silent treatment more so from the women s end Gottman s Research Findings o Men are more likely to stonewall o Women are more likely to criticize o Gay and lesbian couples are the best at communicating More likely to discuss their feelings and express themselves o No gender difference in the prevalence use of contempt or defensiveness o Suggestions Work on one problem at a time Take responsibility If you see your partner becoming upset try to soothe him her Don t criticize but complain instead Face problems head on Complaining is healthy Bring humor into the conflicts appropriately Final tip use empathy Understanding precedes advice Validate your partners feelings Show genuine interest Communicate your understanding Interest in partner s comments Recognize partner s distress emotion Respond empathically to distress Various studies from Developmental Psychology and Journal of Personality and Social Psychology o Securely attached adults demonstrate better than insecurely attached adults Offer comfort and support and are able to receive it o Insecurely attached ambivalent adults tend to be overly dependent and anxious in romantic relationships Very clingy jealous untrustworthy etc o Insecurely attached avoidant adults tend to be dismissing and withdrawn from conflict and emotional expression in romantic relationships Don t want to be emotionally engaged avoid conflict and feelings Men tend to be more insecurely attached avoidant Successful aging o Our expectations for what it s like to be older are actually worse than it will be i e 57 of younger people expect to have memory loss at 65 but only 25 actually experience that o Puzzle of Aging Paradox of Aging Declining health cognition BUT increasing life satisfaction Declines physical changes chronic disability senses death and cognitive changes longer to process information memory etc Increasing life satisfaction is the paradox Because all of these terrible things are happening but we become more satisfied with our life Emotional life gets better greater positive affect o Negative affect grumpiness agitation etc decreases What is successful aging o Avoidance of disease or disease related disability o Maintenance of high physical and cognitive functioning o Sustained active engagement in social and productive activities o Living an active rather than a passive life will reap physical and psychological benefits Cognitive engagement Good diet healthy weight Exercise Good social relations Healthy aging is a lifelong process you need to start NOW Selective Optimization with Compensation Model SOC o Baltes Baltes 1980 husband wife team o Age related deficits place limits on cognitive behavioral resources o To maintain performance we must Select what you continue to focus your energy on Choose what activities are most important to you that you want to do Optimize increase effort improve strategies etc Compensate make up for losses find new methods o i e older runners select to continue running marathons so they optimize by wearing particular shoes with sponges to help them run better and the shoes are better on their bones compensate because it is not based on speed winning anymore but based on finishing o Factors for success on EXAMS Use the SOC model Select to study Optimize results Compensate free time Socioemotional Selectivity Theory o Laura Carstensen o We all actively choose network members Who we want to be with spend our time with o As people age they become increasing selective investing greater resources in emotionally meaningful goals and activities o As people grow older they maintain rewarding relationships and discard the problematic ones o Perception of time predicts which social goals individuals actively pursue Time left theory How who you want to spend the time you have left Make the most of your time o Why engage in relationships Knowledge focused to acquire knowledge and information about the social world that we want and can learn from More common in early adulthood i e go to events to meet potential partners to build your career Emotion focused to regulate emotion maintain intimacy More common in later adulthood i e focus on rewarding relationships and avoid the toxic ones What do models of aging explain o How to age healthily Increase positive affect More satisfied with life because of positive emotional relationships Ability to stay active o Puzzle of physical cognitive decline yet increasing well being o How are the 2 models different SOC model deals with behaviors and behavioral motivation Much more individual based Socioemotional Selectivity Theory deals with emotion and social issues Much more socially relationship based Mid life development o 40 65 years old o Erikson s psychosocial crisis of mid adulthood generativity vs stagnation Generativity a capacity to