ML 4201 Chapter 20 Self importance A person s belief that s he is a highly important i e significant or consequential individual in the environment Causes self important people to put their own needs ahead of the needs of others Self importance is the average person s tendency toward exaggerated feelings of importance Self worth Put other people s needs ahead of their own Causes people to focus on their higher needs rather than on their lower Normally has a positive influence on relationships Based on prosocial accomplishments like helping others or contributing needs to charity Or on individual accomplishments like staying on a healthy diet or earning high grades It comes from WITHIN not externally Effects of Self Importance and Self Worth on Exchange Relationships Exchange relationships always involve the give and take of vale Value may be money products professional services or personal services 1 Self importance causes us to take or demand things from others with little or no gratitude 2 Self importance causes us to give things to others reluctantly and when we do give it causes us to keep track of who owes us what in return Self Worth 1 Self worth causes us to take things from others with appreciation recognizing the effort involved 2 Self worth causes us to give to others freely without keep an inventory of who owes us what Self Importance Self Worth Ratio Suppose person A puts his needs above others needs 80 of the time and puts others needs ahead of his own 20 of the time his SI SW ratio is 80 20 meaning he is considered high in self importance and love in self worth Neurotic need states and bad moods shifts the ratio upward toward higher self importance Social Rewards and Social Competition In the long run it is important for society to have some mechanism to compel individual behavior to conform to group norms One way is to make the individual dependent upon social rewards Perceptual Self Centeredness Another factor accentuating self importance is the fact that each person s perception of the world is self oriented Because the environment is internally deciphered each of us really is at the center of the world Neurotic Need States Specific sources of self importance would include 1 deficiency needs not met 2 affluence 3 selfish character traits that developed from solving D Needs 4 parental misfortune i e bad parents T Accounts are often kept without us actually thinking about it Consequences of Self Importance Self importance causes problems in human exchange behavior by distorting the calculation of expected value Since all exchanges are give and take by definition it is important that people believe they are getting value from the exchange that is at least equal to the amount they are giving Psychological T Account What is gained credit and what is given debit are mentally registered The balance of the T account is the expected value or loss of the relationship and determines the motivation to continue the exchange o The T Account for self important people First since self important causes us to under value what others give it reduces the perceived credit we enter in the mental ledger In addition since self importance causes us to over value what we give to others it increases the perceived debit we enter into the account o This combination quickly causes the T account to be out of balance in our own view and means that we will 1 attempt to give less and take more from the relationship or 2 lose motivation to continue it Disconfirmation Model States that people compare what they actually get in exchanges to what they expected to get o When the actual value significantly exceeds the EV positive disconfirmation people are satisfied a positive emotional state o When the actual value is significantly less than the EV negative disconfirmation people are dissatisfied a negative emotional state Self Worth and Self Esteem Self Esteem Self Confidence Self Worth Self Image o Self confidence reflects your ability to satisfy your own needs while self worth reflects your ability to satisfy the needs of your key accounts Losing Self Importance The concept of losing self importance means that we purposefully decide to lessen our self importance and or raise our self worth in a specific exchange relationship This maneuver must be done consciously and strategically at first and on a trial basis Also the ability to lose self importance can be influenced by mood states When people lose self importance the usually see conrete returns on investment over the long term In addition the Return On Investment ROI is normally extremely high However in the short run losing self importance can cause two opposite feelings o 1 The individual finds it very difficult to actually lose self importance Ex Withholding your opinions form a conversation is extremely difficult for many people This result seems to occur when the individual s level of self importance is high or the value being withheld is central and strongly held o 2 In contrast some people find losing self importance produces satisfaction in the short run Often this occurs when people help others or perform a fiving behavior that results in a sense of accomplishment Conclusion Relationship marketing seeks to produce customers for life in an attempt to maximize long run profits Unfortunately continuing exchanges are difficult to maintain due to human self importance especially biased accounting