The Filter Theory of Mate Selection 11 18 13 Pool of all possible dating partners Propinquity Attractiveness Social Background Consensus Complementary fit with the person feels right compliment each other they bring out the best in you etc Readiness individuals will often marry the person they are with when they feel ready to get married Married Couples I C Why are women wanting to be ready to marry sooner and also getting divorced sooner Women learn who they are through marriage and figure out who they are through the marriage Video Notes Romantic Love is quite involuntary and uncontrollable you feel helpless comes from neurotransmitters High levels of these go to the brain and make you feel like you re in love When you re very in love you are highly jealous and highly caring possessive obsessive and uncontrollable Sexual exclusivity cheating is completely upsetting to a couple who is in love After 18 months the neurotransmitters decline so there is something else that keeps love going if you re still in love afterwards Robert Levenson explores what the love glue is that holds two people together He found Empathy feeling what others feel is a very important part of being in love Emotions test How positive negative is the male feeling during watching an emotional conversation with another couple React to tones of voice and bodily reactions His research found that the presence of a smile in first few terms of a conversation could separate couples who are in love and couples who are not in love People who can really attune themselves to someone elses emotions occurs at its strongest when people are in love Their heart beats the same as the person that they are watching and their reactions BP Heart Rate Sweat become similar Unrequited Love called Love Sickness When feelings for someone are not returned also Leads to persistence Knowing the want for that person and pursuing it Lead to stocking violence Dangerous acts to win over someone 95 fall for this before 25 years old Advantage Allows you to be a tragic romantic hero People in early upbringing that didn t have a mother around very often are most often seen in participating in unrequited love What do people want in long term relationship Marriage Intelligence Love mutual attraction 1 cross culture Kindness Dependability Free love is not very successful having multiple partners Many people become jealous angry 90 were unhappy When sex is the rule but love is absent Driven by men
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