COMM 305 1st Edition Lecture 5 Outline of Last Lecture I. SPT in Practice: Small Talk (cont.)II. Building on SPT: Relational DialectsIII. Developing Relationships- Let’s Get ComplicatedIV. Relational Dialects Outline of Current Lecture I. Relational ContradictionsII. Praxis PatternsCurrent Lecture- Relational Contradictionso Internal Dialectics (Within the relationship; Homer and Marge) Connection-Autonomy- Being a couple, yet being individuals- So fundamental that some scholars see it as the dialectic- Notice that SPT says that people will want more closeness, no matter what. It’s linear meaning you’re moving more and more to closeness. Relational dialectics argues that there is still a connection between the two.  Certainty-Uncertainty- We want certainty, we want to be able to count on and predict thebehavior of our partner, yet we want uncertainty, we want newness.  Openness-Closedness- When we want to share things with our partner- In SPT, to move a relationship forward, disclosure is the key. Disclosure becomes more frequent and intimate- But here we have an acknowledgement that sometimes we tell our partner, sometimes we don’t.o External Dialectics (between the relationship and the community) Inclusion-SeclusionThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.- The need to both involve those outside the relationship, but also be apart from others in the relationship. - Ex: a friend falling in love and you don’t see them for a long time. Conventionality-Uniqueness- Judged by the predictability of the relational partners. - You want your relationship to look like other relationships (conventional), but we want our relationships to be unique and unlike any other relationship out there.  Revelation-Concealment- What you’re going to share outside of the relationship and what you want to keep only between the two of you. o Internal and external terms all depend on the boundaries you set.o A change in one dialectic can change another in consequence.- Praxis Patternso Denial- responding to one aspect of the dialects while completely ignoring the other. No recognition that this is temporaryo Disorientation- instead of denying the tensions, the relational partners are overwhelmed by them These two above are inherently dysfunctionalo Spiraling inversion- involves making a choice of one aspect of a dialectic over another over time (EX: exclusion/inclusion: this weekend we’re going to stay in with each other, next week we’ll go out with our friends)o Segmentation- involves making a choice of one aspect of a dialectic over anotherbased on topic or situation (Ex: Revelation/Concealment: for certain topics we can reveal things, for other topics we won’t reveal anything)o Balance- effort to try and choose both aspects of a dialectic. It’s a compromise approach; trying to do both at once. Can be problematic because in trying to do both at the same time, you may end up doing neither well; you do both poorly.o Integration- neither aspect of the dialectic is diluted in any way (balance that works) Difficult because tensions and dialectics are inherently contradictory; it’s hard to find a way to negotiate these contradictions Ex: Certainty/Uncertainty: every Friday night we’re going to do somethingnew that we’ve never done before. You’re certain because it’s every week, but you don’t know what you’ll be doingo Recalibration- temporarily reframing a situation so the dialectics don’t seem in contradiction anymore (mental gymnastics). Ex: Mother and Father going on random drives. Dad likes it, mom doesn’t.mom recalibrates that it’s just dad’s way of adding something interesting to the existing relationshipo Reaffirmation- A type of metacommunication. Acknowledgement by those involved that the dialectic exists Requires some degree of awareness.  Not necessarily mutually exclusive- Relational Dialectics Theory is trying to give you a set of ideas to ask the right