COMM 305 1st Edition Lecture 4 Outline of Last Lecture I. Key Theoretical Assumptions (cont.)II. Key Communication AssumptionsIII. Initiating and Developing RelationshipsIV. Social Penetration Theory (SPT)V. SPT in Practice: Small TalkOutline of Current Lecture I. SPT in Practice: Small Talk (cont.)II. Building on SPT: Relational DialectsIII. Developing Relationships- Let’s Get ComplicatedIV. Relational Dialects Current Lecture- SPT in Practice: Small Talko Paradox of Small Talk Thinking Exercise: Synonyms of small talk- Chit chat, filler talk, table talk, chatting, gabbing, bullshitting, shooting the shit, visiting, chewing the fat etc. What do you notice about them? - None of them are really positive in connotation and they’re short natured in time. We don’t value small talk very much. Even thoughit’s not valued, it’s ubiquitous Study of trivial talk- There are 2 clusters of small talk- 2/3 of our time communicating is done with trivial talk- As relationships grow closer, small talk becomes more intimateo Importance of Small Talk Small talk is essential for relationship building It’s like laying the groundwork for conversations we could later have in more depth.  Not as important in romantic relationships Very important in job interviewsThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute. Phatic communication- it’s only task is to perform a social function. It’s talk for talk’s sake; what you say may not be as important as the fact that you’re talkingo Recommendations based on SPT Sex and the City example- Charlotte didn’t do well with small talk; she didn’t allow for parallel talk, she rambled, she didn’t choose safe talk. And the person Charlotte was talking to didn’t look comfortable, she had charlotte backed up on a wall so she couldn’t get away and she jumped into a person topic rather than casual chat. Increase topic intimacy gradually. The most useful things to know about a person, usually isn’t the stuff you learn during small talk.  Give and use free information.  Show interest in the other person. Show interest by using nonverbal properly (head nods, eye contact, etc.) and small verbal communications (uh-huh, ok, yea, etc.) Share the floor- don’t take up all the time talking- Study showed that the person usually talking the most was described as outgoing, but dominating, while the person talking little was seen as submissive and unintelligent.  Follow the rules at least initially. Imagine yourself as a host trying to help the other person with their smalltalk- Building on SPT: Relational Dialectso Based on theory and research based of developing relationshipso There are 2 critical points of criticism: The rational actor criticism: focuses on the motivational force in SPT. It’s acritique of the idea that in relationships we are rational analysis of the costs and benefits of relationships. The theory is too linear: focuses on the other question, how relationships develop by giving you a staged model. Remember, in SPT, there is no jumping around in SPT, so it makes sense that it is very linear. - Relational Dialects Theory- (all of the below)- Developing Relationships- Let’s Get Complicated- Relational Dialects- conceives of the relationship as the ongoing negotiation of those tensions of those dialecticso Dialectics: The relationship is the tension. An inherent tension in the relationship; 2 or more ideals that are in conflict with each other. o Internal and External Dialects. Think about 3 things: Dialectics are pairs or sets of ideals that are contradictory In relationships, we are managing tensions between these ideas; they are never resolved We accomplish this negotiation through communication called praxis.o Praxis: Communicative