Page 1TitlesCONTENTS Page 2Titles~ Page 3Page 4Page 5Titles10 EUROCENTRISM AND Reflections on Asian urbanization T.G. McGee Page 6Page 7Page 8Titles\'w Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Titles14 BECOMING A DEVELOPMENT N anda Shrestha Page 14Page 15Titlestil Page 16Titles:;" 273 Page 17Page 18TitlesI ~. ~: II r~ ~~ ~14BECOMING A DEVELOPMENTCATEGORYN anda ShresthaHistory, despite its wrenching pain,Cannot be unlived, and if facedWith courage, need not be lived again.(Maya Angelou 1993)'Colonial domination,' claimed Fanon, 'manages to disrupt in spectacularfashion the cultural life of a conquered people ... [T]he intellectual throwshimself in frenzied fashion into the frantic acquisition of the culture of theoccupying power and takes every opportunity of unfavorably criticizing hisown national culture' (1967: 236-7). Mesmerized by the glamorous notionof development, I was mentally slow to scale its ideological contours, tocomprehend how development ideology is produced and reproduced, how itis propagated across space and through time, how it conquers the minds ofnative elites, and how it paves the path for a monolithic culture of materialismwhich stigmatizes poverty and the poor. Increasingly, it has dawned on methat my own development odyssey served as an autopsy of how the importeddiscourse of development had possessed the mind of a national ruling class,and how such a mindset had, in turn, played a major role in deepening. thesocial roots of poverty - all, of course, in the name of development.This chapter is an account of the process of my own seduction. This is aself-reflective narrative, a wrenching dialogue with myself, based on myencounter with development as a young student aspiring to join the ranks ofeducated elites and the well-to-do. However, my objective here is not towrite my own personal biography; this is rather a post-mortem of the bodyof development by a colonized mind, designed to serve as a research method.Even though such a methodology is uncommon in academic research, it isvaluable in exposing the experience of most elites - whether self-made likemyself or those born and raised in elite families. This personal narrativereveals how and why the discourse of development, with the help of foreignaid, solidifies the colonial mindset in the post-imperial world, crafting culturalvalues, thinking, behaviour, and actions. This is how, under the guise ofdevelopment, the culture of imperialism is methodically reproduced in order266BECOMING A DEVELOPMENT CATEGORYto maintain continued Western dominance over the myriad of nation-stateswhich have emerged since the downfall of the formal colonial-imperialorder. As Edward Said (1993: 25), describing the lingering legacy of imperi-alism, points out: 'Westerners may have physically left their old coloniesin Africa and Asia, but they retained them not only as markets but also aslocales on the ideological map over which they continued to rule morallyand intellectually.'As agarib(poor) boy growing up in a rustic town of Pokhara in CentralNepal more than 40 years ago, I had few possessions of material value. Myaspirations were limited to an occasional desire to have enough food and somenice clothes. Based on the contemporary measure of poverty, the World Bankand its agents would have labelled my family extremely poor. Indeed, the1992 World Development Report shows Nepal as the fifth poorest COUntryin the world. I grew up in a tiny house with a leaky roof. My family had about1.5 acres of non-irrigated land. Along with some vegetables, we usually grewmaize and millet. My mother sometimes brewed and sold millet liquor,known locally asraksi.This is how my family eked out a meagre existence.Life was always hand-to-mouth, a constant struggle for survival.Itwas notunusual at all for me to go to school hungry, sometimes three or four daysmarow.I specifically recall one Dashain - the biggest Hindu festival which iscelebrated with a great deal of fanfare for ten consecutive days. It signifies acelebration of victory of good over evil, namely the victory won by GoddessDurga. During this festival, most temples are littered with blood fromsacrificed animals (uncastrated goats, roosters, ducks, and buffaloes). Thesmell of blood and raw meat is everywhere. Large quantities of meats areconsumed during this festival. Even the poorest are expected to eat some meat,one of the very few times during the year that most poor families get to do .so. Dashain is not just a religious celebration; it is equated with status. Thereis immense pressure on every family, rich and poor, to celebrate the festivalwith as much pomp and show as possible. Parents are expected to get brandnew clothes and other material items for their children. As a consequence,each year countless families plunge deep into debt. Many mortgage, if not selloutright, whatever little land or other assets (e.g. gold) they have to raisemoney for celebration. The festival is very expensive, with many householdsnever recovering from debt. My father used to call Dashaindasha(misery)or the 'Festival of Sorrow.'That particular Dashain, I was 8 years old. My family had no moneyto acquire any of the necessities for the Dashain. It was the eighth day of theDashain, two days before its culmination. On the eighth or ninth day, familiesare supposed to sacrifice animals. We had not even a rooster to worshipGoddess Durga. We all sat in the house the whole day, huddled around andfeeling sad, not knowing what to do. My parents could not get me even onenew shirt, let alone a complete outfit. Even today, the memory of that Dashain267NANDA SHRESTHAbrings tears tomyeyes. Because of that bitter memory, I have never been ableto enjoy any festival. Finally, on the morning of the ninth day of the Dashain,I received a small sum of money from my brother-in-law, for whom I haddone some work. The money saved that Dashain, and my family was just ableto ward off a social embarrassment.To' my innocent mind, poverty looked natural, something that nobodycould do anything about. I accepted poverty as a matter of fate, caused by badkarma.That is what we were repeatedly told. I had no idea that poverty waslargely a social creation, not a bad karmic product. Despite all this, it neverseemed threatening and dehumanizing. So, poor and hungry I certainly was.But underdeveloped? I never thought - nor did anybody else - that being poormeant being 'underdeveloped' and lacking human dignity. True, there is nocomfort and glory in