Creating Reader-Oriented LanguageBe SpecificAvoid AmbiguityReview Exercises 1 (a-d)Avoid Stacked NounsReview Exercises 4 (a-d)Avoid Misplaced ModifiersExercise 2a:Exercise 2b:Exercise 2c:Exercise 2d:Avoid Dangling ModifiersExercise 3aExercise 3b:Exercise 3c:Exercise 3d:Use Parallel StructuresExamples:Use Concise LanguageCommon Redundant PairsCommon Redundant ModifiersReview Exercises 6 (a-c, g)Avoid Wordy PhrasesPatterns of Unnecessary WordsSome Wordy Phrases and Possible OptionsSome Wordy Phrases and Possible Options (continued)Exercise 7a:Exercise 7b:Slide 29Exercise 7c:Exercise 7d:Exercise 7e:Exercise 7f:Exercise 7fExercise 7g:Exercise 7h:Exercise 7i:Use Simple WordsTable 11.2 Fancy Words and Their Plain-Word EquivalentsExamples of Inflated LanguageMore Examples of Inflated LanguageExercise 8a:Exercise 8b:Exercise 8c:Exercise 8d:Use Positive LanguageUse Positive ConstructionsUse Positive Language When PossibleUse Nonsexist LanguageCreating Reader-Oriented LanguageUse Specific and Unambiguous LanguageUse Only the Words Your Readers NeedUse Simple WordsUse Positive LanguageBe SpecificVAGUE: An engine on the plane experienced some difficulties.SPECIFIC: The left engine on the Martin 411 lost power during flight.VAGUE: Please send me the revised instructions ASAP.SPECIFIC: Please send me the revised lab instructions by June 8.Avoid AmbiguityAMBIGUOUS: After stirring by hand for 10 seconds, add these drops of the iodine mixture to the solution.CLEAR: Stir the iodine mixture by hand for 10 seconds. Then add three drops to the solution.Review Exercises 1 (a-d)“Vague Language”Avoid Stacked NounsA noun string contains a series of nouns (or nouns, adjectives, and adverbs), all of which modify the last noun.UNCLEAR: preregistration procedures instruction sheet updateCLEAR: an update of the instruction sheet for preregistration procedures.Review Exercises 4 (a-d)“Stacked Nouns”Avoid Misplaced ModifiersThose modifiers that appear to modify the wrong referent. Usually, the best solution is to place the modifier as close as possible to the referent.MISPLACED: The subject of the meeting is the future of geothermal energy in the downtown Webster Hotel. CORRECT: The subject of the meeting in the downtown Webster Hotel is the future of geothermal energy.MISPLACED: Growing in the sterile solution, the lab technicians observed the bacteria.CORRECT: The lab technicians observed the bacteria growing in the sterile solution.Exercise 2a:Original: A brochure about the scholarship program is enclosed with the application THAT gives complete details. (choose one: application or brochure)Revised: We have enclosed an application for the scholarship program and a brochure that explains the details of the application.Exercise 2b:Original: The study suggests that we should continue the recycling program to the city and the council.Revised: The study presented to the city and the council suggests that we continue the recycling program.Revised: According to the study presented to the city and the council, we should continue the recycling program.Exercise 2c:Original: The police shot the protesters with guns.Revision: The police used their guns to shoot the protesters.Revision: The police shot the protesters who were carrying guns.Exercise 2d:Original: The technician banged angrily on the flashlight in the laboratory THAT was dimly lighted. (what is dimly lit? flashlight or laboratory?)Revised: In the dimly lit laboratory, the technician banged angrily on the flashlight.Revised: In the laboratory, the technician banged angrily on the dimly lit flashlight.Avoid Dangling ModifiersA dangling modifier has no referent in the sentence and can therefore be unclear.DANGLING: Trying to solve the problem, the instructions seemed unclear.(Add clarifying information either within the modifier or next to it.)CORRECT: As I was trying to solve the problem, the instructions seemed unclear.CORRECT: Trying to solve the problem, I thought the instructions seemed unclear.Exercise 3aOriginal: After six months as an exchange student in Italy, the United States was a wonderful sight.Revised: After spending six months as an exchange student in Italy, Sarah thought the United States was a wonderful sight.Exercise 3b:Original: Running to the meeting, the cover for her flash drive was lost.Revision: While running to the meeting, Sarah lost the cover to her flash drive.Exercise 3c:Original: During discussions with the architect, it was (who?) determined that the building needed a new elevator shaft.Revised: During our discussion, we determined that the building needed a new elevator shaft.Revised: We determined that the building needed a new elevator shaft during our discussion with the architect.Exercise 3d:Original: After testing the new airbag (D.M), the new design was approved (passive) for delivery to the factory.Revised: After testing the new airbag, we approved the new design for delivery to the factory.Use Parallel StructuresA sentence is parallel if its coordinate elements follow the same grammatical form. A recognizable pattern makes a sentence easier for the reader to follow.Nonparallel: Our present system is costing us profits and reduces our productivity.Parallel: Our present system is costing us profits and reducing our productivity.Examples:Nonparallel: Abused children commonly exhibit one or more of the following symptoms: withdrawal, rebelliousness, restlessness, and they are depressed. Parallel: Abused children commonly exhibit one or more of the following symptoms: withdrawal, rebelliousness, restlessness, and depression.Nonparallel: At Lincoln High School, vandalism can result in suspension or even being expelled from school.Parallel: At Lincoln High School, vandalism can result in suspension or even expulsion from school.Use Concise LanguageRedundant: We discuss submittals at each and every meeting.Concise: We discuss submittals at each meeting.Common Redundant Pairsadvice and counsel agreeable and satisfactoryany and all assist and helpbasic and fundamentaldue and payableeach and everyfair and equitablefirst and foremostfull and completehelp and cooperationhope and trustnull and voidopinion and beliefprompt and immediatethought and considerationCommon Redundant Modifiersabsolutely essentialabsolutely freeclose proximitydecrease downend resultfinal outcomefree giftfuture plansgreen (red, black,