Slide 1Writing Effective SentencesChoosing Sentence LengthPrinciple 1: Make actors the subjects of your sentencesThe Subject Slot is a fixed positionHow do you make the actor the subject of a sentence?Example:Example:Put the subject (“Samantha”) in the Subject SlotUse People as SubjectsExercise 1Exercise 1Exercise 1Exercise 1Exercise 1Exercise 1Use Active VoiceAvoid Passive VoicePassive VoiceMaking Passive Voice ActiveHelpful HintTrue or False?Answer: FALSE!True or FalseFALSE!True or FalseTRUE!Exercise 2Exercise 2Exercise 2Exercise 2Exercise 2Exercise 2Put the Action in VerbsNo action in VerbExample 3Example 3Example 3Example 3Example 3Example 3Put the Most Important Information at the EndIneffective EmphasisExample 4Example 4Example 4Example 4Example 4Example 4Tie Your Sentences TogetherWriting Effective SentencesGood technical communication consists of clear, correct, and graceful sentences that convey information without calling attention to themselves.Writing Effective SentencesMake the Actors the Subjects of Your SentencesPut the Action in VerbsEmphasize the Important Information in Your SentencesTie Your Sentences TogetherChoosing Sentence LengthAvoid overly long sentences and short, choppy sentences. In general, an average of 15 to 20 words is effective for most technical communication. Example: I have experience working with various microprocessor-based systems. Some of these microprocessor-based systems include the T90, RCA, 9600, and AIM 7600.Revision: I have experience working with various microprocessor-based systems, including the T90, RCA 9600, and AIM 7600.Principle 1: Make actors the subjects of your sentencesIn Technical Writing you need to instruct, explain, and report. You need to tell your reader who is doing what.Do not bury your actors (p. 187).The Subject Slot is a fixed positionetSubjectVerbThe ACTOR needs to go in the subject “position” in front of the main verb (p. 175)How do you make the actor the subject of a sentence?Step 1: Find the main verb in the sentenceStep 2: Find out who is performing the actionStep 3: Make the “who” the subject of the sentenceThe report was typed by SamanthaSubject SlotVerb SlotExample:Example:The report was typed by Samantha.Step 1: Find the main verb = “Typed”Step 2: Find out who is performing the action= “Samantha”Step 3: “Samantha” = subject.Samantha typed the report Subject SlotVerb SlotPut the subject (“Samantha”) in the Subject SlotUse People as SubjectsWhen subject = people, your reader will understand what the reader must do and what the company will do.See example on page 188.Exercise 11a. Attempts were made by the engineering staff to complete the project.&Revised: The engineering staff attempted to complete the project.Exercise 11b. The new building will allow 20 new businesses to relocate downtown.Revised: When we complete the new building, twenty new businesses can relocate downtown.Exercise 11c. There have been threats from other landowners nearby due to the trash and mud in the streets caused by unauthorized employees using this lot.Revised: Landowners have threatened our company if unauthorized employees continue to discard trash in the parking lot.Exercise 11d. There is no alternative except to recall the product.Revised: We must recall the product.Exercise 11e. Working together will ultimately allow us to finish the new product by the deadline. Revised: By working together, we can finish the new product by the deadline.Exercise 11f. It is extraordinarily important that we turn in our application by the required deadline.Revised: We must submit our application by the required deadline.Use Active Voice The actors—”we” and “you” –are in the subject slot.Avoid Passive VoiceA “To Be” verb + A Past Participle•Is written•Am submitted•Are shown•Was eaten•Were marked•Be approved•Been•BeingPassive VoiceTo Be Verb + Past Participle1. is written2. was submitted3. is shown4. was eatenMaking Passive Voice ActivePassive voice:The report was written by Samantha.Active voice:Samantha wrote the report.Helpful HintIf you put the actor in the subject slot And make people the actors90% of the time you will get rid of the passive voice.True or False?The sentence below is in passive voice.I had eaten the whole pizza before he came.Answer: FALSE!I had eaten the whole pizza before he came.“had eaten” is the past participle, but it has the word “had”—not a “to be” verb.True or FalseThe sentence below is in passive voice.The students were happy to do their homework.FALSE!The students were happy to do their homework.This sentence uses the “To Be” verb “were”—but it does not have a past participle.True or FalseThe sentence below is in passive voice.The crime was reported by the police officer.TRUE!The crime was reported by the police officer. “to be” verb + past participle = passive voice (was) (reported)Revised: The police officer reported the crime.Exercise 22a. The merit raises were approved by the board of directors.&Revised: The board of directors approved the annual merit raises.Exercise 22b. Dues must be paid within 90 days by all members.Revised: All members must pay their dues within 90 days.Exercise 22c. Please notify this office as soon as a shipment date is known.Revised: You need to notify us when you know the shipment date.Exercise 22d. Parking on-site is allowed for hotel guests.Revised: Hotel guests may park on- site.Exercise 22e. Reduction in the size of the deficit has been accomplished.Revised: We have reduced the size of the deficit.Exercise 22f. The ethics training was completed by the new employee.Revised: The new employee completed the ethics training.Put the Action in VerbsWe often take the action of our sentences and put it into nouns rather than verbs (nominalization). Investigation instead of investigateDiscovery instead of discoverRecommendation instead of recommendNo action in VerbExample: Her discovery of the missing bolts happened on Friday.•Discovery = Noun•Make “Dicovery” a verb•Discover = VerbRevised: She discovered the missing bolts on Friday.Example 33a. We must provide support for the three candidates from our district who are running for president, vice president, and secretary.Revised: We must support the three candidates who are running for president, vice president, and secretary from our district.Example 33b.
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