Chapter 13 Love and Relationships 1 Who are we attracted to a Proximity we like people who are nearest to us i Mere Exposure we begin to like things that we are exposed to repeatedly we pair with people who are similar in race age ethnicity physical b Similarity appearance etc c Physical Attractiveness Very important for attraction 2 Physical Arousal Creates Attraction a Dutton and Aron had attractive females interview males who just crossed Vancouvers Capilano River on a wobbly suspension bridge vs a sturdy wooden bridge 3 Marriage in America a People are optimistic about marriage b The reality i 50 of marriages end in divorce 4 How to Ruin Your Life in 4 Easy Steps a Marry young b Marry someone very different from yourself c Commit to marriage while in passionate love d Have a child quickly 5 Marriage in Cross Cultural Context a In most societies throughout most of history marriage was a family decision made mostly by parents In modern west explosion of individualism b Marriage was intended for producing and raising kids c d Marriage became the ultimate individual choice e Marriage provides a person with sexual and emotional gratification f g The modern myth of true love Children are optional i If you are in true love then you should marry If you marry you should be in true love If you find the right person you will have true love forever 6 Passionate vs Companionate Love a Companionate Love i The affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined 1 Often associated with emotional intimacy 2 Not associated with sexual arousal i A wildly emotional state in which tender and sexual feelings in a confusion of 1 Present at the beginning of a relationship b Passionate Love feelings 7 Who is Cupid a Cupid is your genes taking over b What s a genes top priority i Replication c How long do the wild emotions and passions of a new love last i Months ii Passionate love lasts about as long as it takes a woman to get pregnant 8 Advice For Happy Lasting Relationships a Passionate love is a drug use it wisely b Don t make stupid decisions when you re in passionate love c When passion dies down is there companionship d Look at how you fight and argue i Quantity of conflict is NOT important ii How you work out the conflict IS important 1 Signs of respect love good 2 Signs of disgust or contempt bad Chapter 13 Social Influence 1 Attribution Explaining Other s Actions a We seek explanations for people s behavior i Was it caused by the persons disposition internal ii Was it caused by their situation external 2 Fundamental Attribution Error a When explaining some else s behavior we i Overestimate the impact of disposition persons traits ii Underestimate the impact of the situation 3 The Autokinetic Effect a Put someone in a dark room and shine a light at the end of them room People will normally think that the light is moving around because of an optical allusion 4 Line Judgment Studies a Peer pressure 5 2 Kinds of Social Influence a Informational Social Influence i Autokinetic Study ii Need for CLARIFICATION iii AMBIGUOUS judgments iv What you say is what you believe v No peer pressure b Normative Social Influence i Line judgment studies ii Need for APPROVAL iii UNAMBIGUOUS judgments iv What you say is NOT what you believe 6 Smoke Filled Room Study a The more people you have in a group the less likely one of them is going to respond to it 7 Principles of Bystander Intervention a Why less help if more people are around b Diffusion of Responsibility 8 Milgram s Obedience Studies i The more people the less any single person feels a sense of responsibility to act c Pluralistic Ignorance i We construe something as an emergency to the degree that other people react like it s an emergency ii Lots of people not doing anything not an emergency a Milgram paid participants to serve as teachers in an hour long study of learning b c Teachers were placed in a room facing a shock generator Learners were placed in another room in which they were connected to the shock generator via electrodes d Experimenter asked teachers to administer shocks whenever the learner gave a wrong answer i Found that no participants stopped before 300 volts Where screaming starts ii 63 of all participants went to the very last switch 450v 9 When We Obey Authority a When authority figure is close at hand b MAJOR LESSON i Far more than you realize peoples actions are produced and constrained by the social world and not by a person s personality attitudes etc
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